Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I'm Hot For Teacher

Emily is teaching a spiritual gifts class that begins tonight. This is not her first dance around the maypole with this, but it is the first time I expressed an interest in being a part of it. I told her this morning she was about to find out why so many of my teachers retired immediately after they taught (forcibly restrained and gagged) me for a year.

I will go easy on her, if she goes easy on me. She is already letting me use her book which has all the answers in it, and no literal theologians, I am not talking about the Bible. But I will borrow her Bible, too. I didn't realize until this morning, I don't have one.

Tsk tsk, you say, or maybe not since there is a lesson or two in the Bible somewhere about judging. A whole book, really. I can't prove it to you, not having a Bible readily at hand, but I think I am right.

Growing up Catholic, we didn't need Bibles. Everything we needed to know we were told. We were too busy remembering at which point in the mass to stand, kneel, sit and recite the Nicene Creed (the longest prayer in a whole wide world). I liked communion the best. It was like the 7th inning stretch. You were past the preachy part and in the home stretch. Soon you could go home and... watch baseball, or whatever.

We used to go to church on Saturdays at 5:00pm. I sorta miss that as it really frees up the Sunday for doing all sorts of things that will eventually culminate in the need to go back to church the following Saturday.

Back to the original point. Will this class be a good idea? Can we successfully weather the stormy sea of tempestuous romance while restraining our carnal lust at the altar of cool academic indifference?

Stay tuned.

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