Backdoor Man/Suspension of Disbelief/A Decent Proposal

Backdoor Man

I lost my mind last night. It was hot, I was trying to nab a little shut-eye before my 5:30 am wake up call. It had been a long (not bad) day. Atticus was up to his usual tricks, terrifying Juliette at every turn. Last week I had enough of the litter box in my bedroom and moved it into my office... a lateral move at best, but it is progress of a kind. At bed time, He jumped her in the litter box.

I need to go back a little, here as both Em and I felt there was a more than vague cat poop smell in the bedroom. I verified this after being out of the room for a bit and then going back in. It had gotten worse. After much turning and tumbling of various likely places, we found it. Juliette pooped IN THE AIR DUCT! No doubt as a result of being interrupted in the litter box and cornered. Since Em swears she didn't do it, and I didn't do it, there is only one culprit left.

I had also gotten tired of sequestering the cats at night. I wanted to be able to simplify since it had become such a chore, this nightly ritual. Pets, in return for the attention and money you lavish upon them are supposed to enhance your life beyond the complication they cause. So, I demanded we keep the door open and not close Juliette in. Maybe, I reasoned, if Atticus and Juliette could successfully make it through a couple nights sleeping peacefully in the same room, things would calm down.

Not but a few minutes into slumber land, a fracas arose and I sat bolt upright to see Atticus had Juliette pinned under a chair in our bedroom. There was much hissing and raising of backs. This has been going on to varying degree for nearly a year now. Atticus ran off, which is what he always does when we catch him doing something he knows not to do. Believe me, he knows not to do these things, but that doesn't stop him.

I grabbed him on the way past me and lifted him up close to my face, so our eyes were essentially touching. He was completely compliant as I have at least trained him to heel, (not a small feat for a cat).

I let him down and he went to lick his paws in the other room. I went back and settled in to bed. Juliette ran past me and down stairs, presumably to the dining room chairs which is about the only spot Atticus won't bother her.

Except tonight. He tore ass off after her and jumped her again. This time I heard a chair move... they are pretty big, heavy chairs. The other day a plant got mysteriously knocked off its stand int he dining room, too. Not even neutral ground was neutral anymore.

I got up again, went downstairs to get Atticus. I was done. And so was he. I picked him up and told him he doesn't live here anymore and threw him out. That's how mad I was.

As I suspected he is still outside today, meowing himself hoarse. But this morning as I contemplated letting him back in, he jumped at Juliette again, violently; only this time there was a glass door between them.

That sealed it for me. We are going to get a collar and we will keep feeding him for as long as he wants to stay in the yard, but he is now an outdoor cat. Of course I feel terribly about this as I love Atticus. But Juliette has been with us longer. She is 10 and I don't want her to live out her final good years being terrorized by another animal on a daily basis.

Think of me what you will. I don't think too highly of myself right now.
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Suspension of Disbelief

I told you of the Corvette's shock blow-out over a pot hole in lovely Grand Rapids. Well, this morning, the air suspension on my car also failed, leaving me dragging ass down the highway with a virtually uncontrollable car. Had I not been so bemused, I would have adopted the Detroit lean and enjoyed ghetto bombing down the road. I even would have put on some Dre.

The Grand Marquis is the car cousin to the Crown Victoria and like Queen Victoria, I was not amused. This car has cost me a lot of money to keep in condition. I am not even talking about body-wise. It has been plagued with electrical gremlins and odd maladies, many of which I have regaled you with, here in this blog.

Now I figure I am in for another $600.00. Strangely, after my morning meeting, it worked again, but the compressor sounds a lot like my knees do first thing in the morning... sure they work, but they ain't gonna for long.

The stealership quoted me $600.00 to fix it. Am I good or what? I noticed the part is really expensive and the labor is really cheap. That means it is a quick and simple job. One I can do myself.

So online I go to find a new compressor! Good old Amazon.com... $175.00 bucks and I will be on my way. There was momentary elation. I am sure it would have lasted longer had I not then done what I always do... analyze. $175.00 and my time is easily 2/3 of an additional car payment this month. This on top of last month's $700.00 spend on various maintenance items which represented 3 additional car payments.

Everyone likes to make fun of me because I don't keep cars. It is silly, they say. You're wasting money, they say. Cars run forever if you take care of them, they say.

Poppycock! I can think of a lot of nice cars I can drive for the kind of scratch I am putting out for this tired old car. As my friend Dave said last week... it's just one more thing.
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A Decent Proposal

I kissed my first major project goodbye and sent it on its way to the scrutinizing committee! I am proud of it. It is 48 pages of facts, figures, charts, diagrams, pictures, visual aids and marketing BS and represents about 100 hours of my time. At 2.08 hours per page, it is literally the most time-intensive writing piece I have ever done.

I know it is competitive in the metrics they are looking for. I know it is well written. I know it is graphically attractive and easy to navigate. In short it is practically perfect in every way. Wish me luck! I need a win!