A Window to My Thoughts

Things On My Mind

I have always had a fantasy that at any given moment, there are groups of people hanging out together in secret locations to discuss their similarities and differences and to pat each other on the back or boast about their prowess.

I always envisioned a dark house where all the burglers and thieves went to at the end of the stealing day to play show and tell about the things they took. "Wow, look over here, Vance... Charlie hit the mother lode!"

Similarly, I figure famous people have a super-secret mutual admiration society where they get together. The Church of Scientology and the Friar's Club notwithstanding, I wonder what this mystical place would be like. It has to be different from the not-so-secret gathering spots where we are allowed to see glimpses of the celebs in the wild, like some sort of zoo. So, I am not talking about the Playboy mansions, or the night clubs or the awards parties. I wanna know where they all go to talk shop and light cigars with the hair of the virgin Haitian boys and girls who serve them,.

I want to know if Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello ever host an obtuse poetry slam attended by David Byrne and Brian Eno. I want to know if Jewel and Alannis Morisette have ever had a kick boxing matched refereed by Sarah McLaughlin.

I wanna know if the Proclaimers are openly hostile to Mumford and Sons for basically stealing their act and doing it so, so much better. Do actors and actresses try to out-act one another? Does Elizabeth Hurley still get sweaty palms when Dame Helen Mirren walks in the room? Do they have numbers based on fame, wealth, status or simply in the order they got there? Can you be kicked out of the club one you are in? I can't imagine Todd Bridges is still allowed, though certainly he was, once. How does it stay secret? After all, these people are second only to politicians at the bottom of the "I can keep a secret" pile.

Now, you wonder why I can't sleep at night.
_____________________________________________________________

Speaking of Politicians

Mitt Romney's mouth got him into more trouble this past weekend when he made a self-contradictory statement about Obama and the economy. What's more, the statement also contradicted previous statements he has made on the same topic.

I am not a fan of Romney for this very reason. He is the epitome of the political double-talker who has made himself a career candidate by shopping various messages around to various events and audiences hoping to resonate with everone, (except of course those damn dirty democrats).

At the end of the day, he comes out saying nothing. It is the main reason for his wash out during the last election cycle. I for one am tired of being lied to. Here is the absolute truth. One person, one party, one administration does not have the ability to put us into, or get us out of a situation like the one we are in right now. The makeup of the government assures it.

In fact, (by which I mean 'in my opinion' which is fact if I say so), the deadly combination of low-level plebian administrators colluding with crooked CEOs has a much more direct and immediate effect over the economy than any presidential administration does. Read here if you are interested on how I have come to that conclusion.

But the politicians, (not just Romney if that makes you feel better or worse), all want you to believe that their opponent is the cause of all ill and that only they have the one brilliant idea that will save the world from disaster. Why we didn't buy Romney's message before I don't know. Perhaps Obama was a better liar. I do believe he is also at present a victim of his own inflated hubris. That isn't because he is a democrat, or a black man or from the cracked Illinois political machine. It is because the higher the rhetoric got, the more enthusiastic the audience got. And now that audience who allowed itself to get so pumped up with "Yes We Can!" has a hangover upon the realization that St. Barack is but a man like the rest of us.

The same would have been true for a President Romney, and for all of them, with the possible exception of Ron Paul who is also a crackpot. But he's my kind of crackpot.

So the stump speech is nothing more or less than political Mad Libs:

I, (Candidate's Name), have what it takes to (fix/eliminate/legislate/transfigure) the whole of the entire world! I believe the (federal government/state government/local constabulitary) should have (more/less/all/no) power and you as citizens of (name the place where you are now) (have the responsibility to/have the right to) a better more prosperous world!

We have to fix the problems (caused by/made worse by) my (opponent/the other party)! Only if we stand united as (republicans/democrats) can we reverse the scourge of the (overreaching/tyrranical) opposition. Only we can (shrink government to make it more effective/increase the role and oversight of the government) to make this happen!

We all have one goal! That is (eliminate the debt/balance the budget/make sacrifies/allow gay people to marry/press forward for equality/eliminate taxes/tax the hell out of rich bitches/tax poor people/eliminate services/increase services/fight for prayer in school/eliminate God from the vocabulary/mandate weekly rainbows for the treatment of depression/raise the debt ceiling/bail out the corporations and banks/allow people to fail/buy back bad motgages/increase interest rates to slow inflation/lower interest ragtes to spur growth/bring back Gummy Bears-Smurfs hour)! It is just that simple!

The country is (broke/broken). Now, more than ever, we need to make (the tough choices/a stand) (for/against) (well meaning/poorly executed/wrong headed/necessary) government regulations, brought on by (years of my opponent's mismanagement/my predecessor/republicans/democrats/wacky libertarians).

Thank you, (God/Allah/Buddha/Other) (bless you/offer you shalom/give you peace/bestow wisdom upon you/grant you three wishes) and may (he/she/it/they) bless the United States of America!