Art was a grandfather figure of mine growing up. His kind, intelligent and long-suffering wife, Donna was on the fore of all that was healthy and sustainable. I believe she was celebrating the first Earth Day and celebrated every one since.
Art was therefore a healthy eater by proxy. Soy this, Tofu that. I learned the word 'organic' eating a meal around their dinner table. I told you in a past blentry of my explosive exploits with Donna's homemade bran muffins.
The minute he could get free, though, it was all cheeseburgers and ice cream for Art. I was often his excuse for these forays into illicit eating; and I couldn't have been happier.
I am a lot like Art. Pleasingly plump and a healthy eater, so long as anyone is watching. A popular post of mine in the past entitled "On Being a Fat Ass" introduces that I don't so much slip off the health wagon when Em is out of town and I jump off and launch a rocket propelled grenade at it and watch the rubble burn.
This week, I am a bachelor. So, since I have nothing else to write about, I will recount the finer points of my culinary inequities of the week.
Day 1
It started off well. After pulling weeds and mowing the lawn in the high heat and humidity, I didn't want anything heavy. Lunch was a large salad of a bed of romaine, organic tomato, grilled chicken breast, mozzarella and homemade croutons all drizzled with homemade vinaigrette.
Not a thing wrong with that. It was divine. Truly I was pleased to be eating it.
Regrettably, the regression began almost immediately thereafter with dinner.
I didn't want to go back outside, having showered, since it is so humid. I pulled out the Foreman Grill and plopped on 3 Italian smoked sausages. Into the toaster with the buns while I grated the sharp cheddar and chopped the fresh white onion. All topped off with deli dark mustard it did not suck. They were gone so fast, even I couldn't believe it. Em would not approve.
I also watched it in my chair, in front of the TV which was playing Family Guy which is forbidden in this house. Mmmmmmmm, forbidden meal!
This morning, the dawning of day two has not been better. I took a potato and hashed it and browned it with some onion and another smoked sausage. Then I scrambled some eggs and threw it all in an oversize bowl and topped it with cheese. Well, not cheese, American cheese slices.
It was, in a word, inedible. Simply awful in its greasy saltiness and caloric density. And a fresh hot cup of coffee was not the perfect compliment to it at all. The mess I left behind in the frying pan resembles an industrial disaster on a grand scale. The house smells of diner. The fork is now stuck to the bowl out of which I ate the splendidly amalgamated goo.
Now that I look back, (all of five minutes), it wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was amazing. I think I'll have it again for lunch!
No! Must fight the dark powers within. Must eat green salad! Actually, that sounds good, too. and if I have a salad for lunch, I can make burgers for dinner and not feel bad! Maybe I'll even walk to the store to get my burger fixins!
Who am I kidding? I don't want to carry back two pounds of ground beef and a six pack of beer all that way. It will get all warm and heavy. I know! To make up for a lack of a walk, I will grill up some squash and zucchini and have a summer version of veggie fries! Yum!
Wow, two servings of veggies in one day. Maybe I'm not a lost cause after all.
Bon Apetite!
OH MY GOSH!!! IT sounds soooo goood. You have to rub it in don't you? I'm stuck eating workcamp food and you're enjoying the delectable sins of pork stuffed into casings, topped with too much cheese...??? Please, please feed me this when I get home.
ReplyDeletePlease.