Latvia, India, Malaysia, Singapore, Ukraine, Russia, Australia, Germany, Holland, Norway, Iran - These are some of the countries listed in my stats of people who read this blog. This means that sadly, people in many foreign countries may be looking to this blog as a representation of the life of an average American.
Perhaps it is even being used in classroom instruction. I imagine that class would be called "How Not to Write English." That's apt.
I humbly attempt here to set the record straight. I am not an average American. I am far more intelligent than most Americans. I do not subscribe to fringe thinking and I try very hard not to use the words 'always' and 'never' in casual conversation.
In short, unlike most Americans I am palpably aware of my practical perfection and I am happy to boast about it. For too long, America has been a taciturn country filled with modest introverts afraid to show their patriotism! I am out to say I love me, and the USA... in that order. Hey, USA, don't feel too bad. Second place is pretty good. I mean, you take the silver medal. That will get you a picture on a Wheaties box!
I wonder if the stats are junk. Why in the world, when there is so much worthwhile content out there on the interwebs would someone get off the train at my little whistlestop? What could I possibly be writing of any kind of interest to people in such exotic places as Latvia and and Malaysia? Am I somehow linked to a porn site? Apparently, there is more than one thing people do on the internet. Truly though, I am a hundred kinds of curious about how you found this space.
If the stats are not junk and there really have been two check ins from Australia and Ukraine and one from Russia in the last 24 hours, I would love to know a little more about you. I understand that I am the one on display, here and anonymity is one of the great rights of participation on the world wide web; so if you decline, that is acceptable.
But I am curious. Do you have a blog? What is it? Can I link to it? My readers are very intelligent, (clearly... they're my readers!) and may really enjoy your perspective. Not all Americans are xenophobic fat NASCAR fans who live in tin shacks and drive pickup trucks. Maybe we can create a bridge that can foster peace and understanding across cultures!
For all I know, my blog is being read by students in a jihad training camp and my words are fueling the fire of hatred. Gosh, I hope not. This global ambassadorship is a lot of responsibility.
I checked a little more deeply, (drilled down as we like to say in the male dominated corporate world), into the stats in an attempt to draw some conclusions.
The most looked at post I have posted in the history of the blog was my rumination on the death of Osama bin Laden and the way in which my country men and women handled it - in a word, poorly. This may be where I picked up some of the Eastern countries if somehow my little blog came up in a search. If so, I hope I made it clear that we are not all death crazed adrenalin junkies here in the states.
I have gone to great pains to avoid politics in general on this blog, so I find it a little ironic that the one post I can remember that was specifically about a current event in the news is my most read post.
After that, as if to prove my theory that the whole world is manic-depressive, my post on the first Harry Potter Part 7 is the next most popular post. No doubt due to perverts googling Emma Watson and coming across my treatise. This proves that people can read with one hand.
Another "famous" post is that of my hyperbolic phone conversation with a telemarketer. A conversation that existed completely in my head, but was just enough surreal for people to take to.
Whomever you are, wherever you are from, I am glad you stop by. Come back anytime. Friend me on Facebook, or send me some cash. You know, whatever. Some days are funnier than others. Some insights more insightful. Some ruminations particularly grandiose. But the fact you read at all makes me very, very happy.
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