The Grandma That Keeps on Giving
I have already written how my car, Grand Ma Marjorie Rubenstein, is invisible, (see "Wonder Woman's Used Car Emporium and Lasso Repair"), but as it gets older I keep learning about new wonderful features. It truly is the car that keeps on giving.
Now she is able to refuel on the go! Explain! You demand. Well, don't be pushy I'm getting to it. The last two tanks I have filled up with gas (or maybe it's black truffle oil since it costs so goddamn much), and upon leaving the station, the fuel gauge shows no movement. I am sure I filled up the car. My credit card was accepted (for now), my hands smell like gas, I even dribbled a little on my shoe when I pulled the nozzle out, which in this case is not a euphemism for old age.
So why is my needle stuck down there near empty where it was five minutes and nearly $60.00 ago?
As I drive, a wondrous thing happens. The car begins to fill up. That's right, the needle slowly rises a little at a time. This makes my trip computer prone to fits though as the entire time it is doing this, it is assuming I am actually gaining gallons while driving. As a consequence, after my 200 mile sales call day yesterday I had used -11.3 gallons and achieved 9,999 miles per gallon.
I drove past Priusses (or whatever the plural of that mess would be... Prius', Prius-es, Prissy holier than thou jerk going 12 in the left lane-ses?) with a smug sense of satisfaction that while they were achieving a noteworthy 50 miles per gallon, I was achieving 10,000 and that was only because the numbers ran out on my screen. It could have been much more. Furthermore, I was achieving this feat in my heavy, V8 powered, leather lined, trunk filled with 200 pounds of promotional material car, while they suffered in their little ersatz spaceship.
By the end of the day I had gained 3/4 of a tank and used only 1/4, which means at 20 gallons, I made 10 gallons of gas in 200 miles. Somebody call NASA! I solved global warming and the gas shortage!
I bet people will want to steal my car now since it can do all these wonderful things, but you must remember it has the best security system money can't buy. It's invisible.
Spring Tease/Spring Freeze
We are in that time in Michigan where the weather report is so implausible that it almost seems the weather man or woman or both are putting you on. Yesterday it was pushing 70 degrees in some spots. It was truly glorious. The crocus are in full, unadulterated bloom. They are in for a surprise. Today it will be 43 if we are lucky. It seems the gulf breezes from the south and the arctic express from the north are still duking it out for supremacy in the hotly contested month of March.
Next week looks like it belongs to the Arctic with the slow arm wrestle being won by the steely northern competitor and a return of late winter weather. It's all fine and good and relatively benign as we know the southern breeze and the angle to the sun will eventually win out and summer will come. Before that however, the northern freight train will tangle with the southern gales and create tornadoes and wind damage and death and destruction.
Thunderstorms here in the midwest are a thing to see. I don't know how many readers I have outside this area of the country but I assure you there is nothing more wonderful and beautiful and frightening and terrible as a well built thunderstorm. They seem to hover only feet off the ground and in a really good one, you can feel the hairs on your body stand up before a big burst of lightening.
Those bursts are sometimes streaks that run across the sky like maniacal jagged fingers for miles and miles, seemingly without end. Or, they can be blinding flashes that seem to originate from nowhere and retreat just the same - your mind comprehending the event only in the past.
A really good storm has a mix of these.
We get pretty good at figuring out thunder, too... Emily and I will see a flash and wait... wait... wait and say "boom" when we think it is going to happen. We're usually pretty close. Sometimes, thunder isn't a boom but is instead the sound of a huge empty freight train coming to a stop from a slow roll, its cars crashing into each other progressively. If you haven't heard this phenomenon I recommend you either go to a train yard and wait for it, or stand outside until May. Either way, you'll get the sensation.
Weather is amazing here in the late spring and early summer. It is a mix of things that surprises even those in the know. I for one can't wait as the sheer terror and fury of the bipolar weather gods is surely more interesting than the monotony of the winter snows. Bring on the summer!
To Vette, or not to Vette
For the first time in many years, I am seriously thinking about not even bothering with the Corvette this summer. It needs too much work, drinks too much gas, monopolizes too much time and costs too much money.
It is hard to justify hobbies when I have windows that need to be rebuilt and painted and a garage that needs to be removed and rebuilt. It is just a time robber that I don't need.
Just putting that out there.
Old House Expo
We are going tomorrow to the old house expo where I can learn how much time and money I need to devote to my old house. I have a feeling the answer to both is a fairly nebulous "a lot."
Wish me luck. I will likely come back very depressed.
Celtic Family
Hot off the heals of the popular Celtic Woman concert series which brought senior citizens out after dark in droves for the first time in many years, is Celtic Family. Yay. We're going tomorrow night. Yay.
A whole Saturday planned from the time I get up, until the time I go to bed. Yay. Somebody pinch me.
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