Friday, March 11, 2011

Time Keeps Flowing Like a River

Time. Quantified time is an invention of humankind. Time certainly exists relative to the workings of the universe,(its birth, expansion, cooling and presumably one day in the future, zenith, recession and collapse). That last part sounds a lot like our economy, but I already got political in my last blentry which I promised not to do, so we aren't going there again.

No, I want to talk about something that affects many more people in a direct way than the economy. That is the biannual micromanaging of the clock that is Daylight Saving Time and Standard Time.

I hear tell that back in the day, Daylight Saving Time was an economic necessity brought about by our largely agrarian society. A great deal of our country's economy was linked to farming, so much so that it became necessary to adjust the time to shift seasonally to favor the farmers.

Apparently cows can tell time. Perhaps there was some bovine union who had work rules forbidding cows to give milk before 5 a.m. and instead of fighting about it, management just moved 5 a.m.

Stranger things have happened.

I don't know why there is a twice yearly time change. I don't feel like researching it. If you want to know, I challenge you to look it up. I appreciate a report back, as my ruminations are supposed to be rooted in minutiae, not just pulled from the firmament.

Regardless of the reason, I don't like it.

I sit here in my front room at 7:45 a.m. on March the 11th and it is for all intents and purposed full daylight outside. Next week at this time, were we not to manipulate the time, my weather man (that guy knows everything except the stupid weather) tells me that we would achieve this same level of brightness 6 minutes earlier, at 7:39 a.m. I submit to you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, it is rather nice!

I like to get up at 7. I usually get up before, but 7 is my goal. Come next week, it will be full bright at 6:30 in the morning, and that means before too long the birds will start chirping at 5:30 in the morning and my summer of sleeplessness will begin!

I love summer. I crave summer. Summer is my destiny. I am not wishing away any aspect of summer but for the needless time change that simply makes no sense! The sun comes up, the sun goes down and in between we have adapted a way to live in all conditions on a daily rotating basis. We have electric lights, we have window shades. Both of these were not only invented a long time a go, but have achieved a certain level of perfection! They don't react to time... they react to condition.

Here is a conversation that has never, ever, never-ever happened:

"Jeez, it's bright in here... I'm gonna close the shades."
"But honey, it's only 2:15... the shades don't work until 3:45!"
"Won't somebody please manipulate the clock so my shades will work at the right time?!?"

I for one repeat my twice-yearly sentiment. Either leave it sprung forward or leave it fell back because I am sick to death of the time change! The sun comes up, the sun goes down, the earth like the wheel of fortune spins round and round and there is nothing you can do about it! (Ok, so I cribbed from like 12 poems, 16 songs and a movie for that last bit- but hey, nothing is original anymore).

Please, leave my clocks alone! Even they don't know when to change anymore since Congress, or the Time Bandits or whomever is in charge of these things keep changing it.

If we are going to micro-manage, we need to change the calendar, too because that big-ass Indonesian earthquake that set off the tsunami also actually shifted our orbit, lengthening our solar year by 1/8 of a day. so we really need to change leap year to one and a half extra days every six years. Won't that be a larf.

"Johnny, if you love me, you'll meet me at the top of the Empire State Building on February 29th and-a-half at the second 11:59 am!"

Of course, there was a terrible earthquake last night in Japan, so either that set things right, or made them worse. We'll have to see. Those guys at NASA don't have a lot to do these days with their shuttle program winding down; maybe we can get them on the case.

And what of the calendar itself? There are a lot of whackjobs out there that think the world is going to end in 2012 because the Mayan calendar stops. Ok, time for a little historical perspective here.

The Mayan calendar probably stops abruptly for one of three reasons. Either the guy writing it finally threw down his pencil and said "enough" because his carpel tunnel was killing him, or the Mayan Congress kept wanting to change things, ("Pete, back to the drawing board, they want to add something called 'leap year'), or most likely, a marauding Spaniard sneaked up behind him and sliced his neck open before he could get done.

The point is, that man has not the power to control or even contain time, even though time in the linear sense; time the way we have tried to make time, does not exist.

I say, let's give up. The sun comes up, the sun goes down and we should focus not on controlling every minute in between, but enjoying it and making it worthwhile.

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