Monday Morning Miscellany

Apologies to Danny Glover

"I'm too old for this stuff [sic]!" was the line Danny Glover made famous in the Lethal Weapon movies as Sergeant Murtaugh a guy who was seemingly always only days away from retirement. It's a line that pops through a chaperone's mind a time or two on an overnight event with a bunch of kids. I know it went through mine.

We got together with a couple youth groups from some local African American congregations in an attempt to explain to our children that there are other people than white people and Asians adopted by white people. I joke, our kids go to diverse schools and are all very inclusive people, but our youth group is pretty monochromatic, much like our congregation. We went sledding, had a meal, played games and did a worship service. It was great.

Sledding is terrifying, which is why it's fun I guess. It certainly is only fun half the time. the other half you are dragging yourself back up a slippery hill with other sledders aiming for you like they were trying to pick up a spare. Not exactly as life-threatening or dramatic as storming the beaches on D-day, but exciting none-the-less. You want a big hill so that the down portion is more fun. The bigger the hill, the bigger the climb. It's a vicious cycle. We had our share of wipe-outs and whitewashes. Getting snow up your nose is now called Snowt (a mashup of snow and snot). I decided it would be best to slide down the side of the hill to the car, rather than hike down. The problem was the trees. I almost did a Sonny Bono into a white pine. Pine is a soft wood, but somehow, I think it would win. I rolled off the sled instead and starfished the rest of the way down, narrowly avoiding the tree.

Then I got to watch all the kids, who had just seen me almost die, do the same thing, the whole time trying to remember where those signed indemnity wavers were. I am not a role model.

The retreat was a good idea and went well. Though, like salad dressing, the kids tended to separate into their component groups and needed a little shaking up here and there. The adults had no such problem. I dare say we had at least as much fun as the kids and I got to know some fine people.

Two, Two-and-a-half hours sleep tops, on an air mattress with chaos swirling around you is not the best setting for a good hard rest, but you find a way to make it through and you hope the kids have a good time. Even in college I was never the stay up all night type. I was almost always the first one to bed.

Your reward for all this is to get up before anyone else and cook breakfast and then to clean up after them. I thought I said no to parenthood! But, it is all fun and keeps me young, because I am sure I nary would have left the house if it weren't for the retreat.

Sitting through church after was really hard. The sermon was, how to say, technical, rather than inspiring and the pacing of the whole thing was sort of like swimming through nacho cheese. If you get anywhere it's gonna be slowly. Blessedly it was over after an hour.

I took a nap Sunday before the Hockey All-Star game and that was surprisingly refreshing, sustaining me until the ripe old hour of 9:45, when in the middle of a chapter, my body said "Sleep NOW!" in a very serviceable Charlton Heston as Moses voice. Who can argue with Moses? Come to think of it, it was more of a Phil Hartman doing Charlton Heston as Moses voice. For me, equally effective.

Thankfully, I am feeling normal today. Stiff from sledding, which I haven't done in an eon, but normal. It is a Monday and there are a lot of things going on professionally so this could be a great day, or a frustrating day. I have no idea what the weather brings and since there is travel in my forecast, I am sure that will be of some influence on my day as well.

The Winter Ooooohs

Yesterday was gorgeous, y'all. Sunny and crisp, with a nearly fresh blanket of snow on the ground. It was light until almost six o'clock, which makes me nostalgic for the long days ahead. I have been cruising through Corvette magazines and websites again, planning what projects will be done this season. Corvette fever, a regular yearly relapse for me is a sure sign that spring is on its way. January never visited upon us the expected onslaught of snow. It was cold, but it was also often sunny. The snow all year has been powdery, light and shiny. The pretty stuff. Bad for snow men, good for skiers. And it hasn't fallen in feet at a time, only inches. It has been, manageable.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I stopped short of a driveway the other day to let a woman out who was trying to make a left turn onto a busy street. I saw a car coming on my left and I put my hand up to stop the woman from leaving the driveway. She looked at me and smiled and waved and went for it... con brio to coin a musical direction.

And so now, three feet off the front of my car is a tangled mess of late model sedan and two very angry people. I was on an emergency call myself and had to get out to my client in 25 minutes. I had an hour by contract, but I was eating lunch so 25 minutes was all that was left. Anyway, in good weather is would have been a stretch to get there in that time and the roads were sort of bad this day, so I sneaked around them and went on my way once I saw there were no injuries. I went to the police station after and gave my statement. I haven't heard anything back, but as of then, there had been no call to an accident. Probably another example of a couple customers from the Doantgott/Enny Insurance agency, featuring the popular affordable "Yo Fault" insurance program for thousands of drivers in the Michigan market.

That's what you get for trying to be nice.