For My Mother on Her Birthday

Happy Birthday, Mom!

I couldn't begin to list or reminisce about all the things I have learned from you, both what to do and what not to do. Each is valid in its way. I consider you a force, rather than a mere person. You have beaten cancer. Twice. You have beaten your own demons, which you came by honestly by nature and nurture. You have done it all with grace and strength and the uncanny ability to laugh.

You always laugh. I learned it from you. You can make a tough situation more like a day in the park because you laugh. You laugh at me even when I am not so funny and you appreciate me when other moms would be ashamed of their sons if they acted the way I did.

I slapped the neighbor lady. You laughed. I laughed at you when you slapped me... you were really mad. It made you laugh. We ate McDonald's after. You laughed when I was precocious and snide and all too cynical for my age. You laughed. And I laughed.

I never felt alone much, because you seemed interested when I needed you to be and sort-of on the fringe otherwise. You didn't hover, but you always knew what was up. I never hesitated to come to you. You were and are still always there for me.

You taught me right from wrong. You placed me second to Dad- at the time, I wasn't sure that was the right way, but now I am married and I know that was the most valuable lesson you could teach me.

You waited years on a list for me, enduring home visits and the jaundiced eye of a nun. You never gave up waiting for me, even though you didn't know it was me you were waiting for, and when I came you took me as your own and I have never belonged to anyone else.

Thank you for teaching me that singing doesn't require a good voice, and being intelligent doesn't require being smart and being yourself doesn't require people liking you all the time. I have never heard of you being mean to anyone. People really like you. And they say I am like you, sometimes. That is high praise.

So to my friend, my mentor, my best audience, my Mom. Happy Birthday. I love you dearly.