Why am I stuck in Evansville, Indiana until 6:00 when there is a 1:20 flight out? The 1:20 didn't show up when I booked the flight. And why, since the 6:00 is clearly overbooked, (no seat assignment when I checked in and coy answers on the telly), will they not let me on the earlier flight without a $50.00 fee? It would help me out, help them out, we would all be happy.
It's because I bragged, even though it was in private, that I didn't have to pay any fees. They heard me, or saw me... Not cool.
It is Noon and I went to the airport, hoping to look sad and bedraggled enough to talk my way on to the earlier flight. I forgot I was dealing with airline employees who had their souls removed during orientation. The lady behind the counter with the unfortunately pervasive psoriasis was professionally dismissive in her tone despite my well-practiced hang-dog expression.
I thought maybe I should have lied. "My wife is leaving the country through Detroit and she's ovulating and we're really trying to have a baby to save our marriage and there's this little out of the way restroom where we can meet..."
I thought better of it.
To the bar!
Ok, that lasted for two drinks and a sandwich that cost me $36.00. Wow. Evansville. At least you have free wifi. So, I will buy some earbuds and listen to the radio and watch videos. That should hold me over for the rest of the time.
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I really should have driven. This is ridiculous. In the time I psent in the Evansville airport, I literally could have driven home. My humor is truly beginning to fail. Truly.
It should be about 45 minutes until we board. If I have problems, I may go to jail, because my capacity to deal with bullshit is very diminished right now.
Wish me luck.
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11 hours after entering the Airport in Evansville, I have landed in Grand Rapids. Praise be. Had I driven, I would have been home nearly 4 hours prior. There is a lesson in there, kids, but I'm too damn tired to spell it out. Figure it out yourselves.
next time, try the lie.
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