Words I Made Up

Stephen Colbert busted out on to the scene with "Truthiness", the made up term that became Miriam Webster's word of the year, 2006. This castaway joke became one of the most talked about item of that particular year and was the vehicle that brought mass appeal to the show. Not since SNL's "Strategery", as spoken by Will Farrell playing G.W. Bush has a word entered the common lexicon so quickly and taken permanent root.

Purists are quick to discount words that were made up on the spot, despite the fact they often do an ample job of describing the situation at hand. All words were made up by somebody, how come I can't make some up? Language is supposed to be fluid and ever changing. These "Colloquiprudes" (I think I just made that one up, too) as I will start calling them simply can't open themselves up to the possibility that new words can be better than the words they replace.

I shall therefore continue to fuse multiple words that everyone already knows into one word. after all I learned in high school English the concept of paucity of verbiage which is an oddly ironic way of saying keep it simple. I don't generally write with paucity of verbiage in mind. It doesn't take too long to realize I tend toward the flouncy running phrase that gets to its destination only after stopping for some nosh and a show in Poughkeepsie . Yet still, I find such joy in these modern mash-ups, I thought we could explore a few.

Blentry- A blog entry. This term first came to my consciousness when coined by my very dear friend David Towne, esq. It is an example of the perfect fusion of two simple words into one word that is impossible to further distill. It is the essence of effective word fusion. It should be adopted into the vernacular immediately and Dave should be paid handsomely.

Blovelette- This is a cross between blog and novelette which I created in response to Dave sharing his blentry with me. At the time, I was posting chapters of a book project I am working on, hence a blovelette. Perhaps not as perfectly balanced and effective as blentry, but I think it stands up.

Independapublicrat- 1. A political chameleon simultaneously affirming and denying his or her support for a particular plank in an attempt to please everyone and upset no one.
Example: "I had to vote for this odious bill as I feel it is important to bring attention to the giant bird epidemic that we face in the nation today. While the thought of catching these massive birds in nets and bludgeoning them to death is terrible beyond my comprehension, the political establishment forced my hand to take action to save the American people."
2. The person who magically adopts the general political viewpoint of the person and or group to whom they are speaking. The changes happen immediately and can be infinite.

Cryptcreeper- The person, (usually a man), at the end of the bar who thinks he's still "got it" and can make plays for college women. The Cryptcreeper often keeps the keys to his BMW obtrusively on the bar in front of him to make sure everyone sees his material wealth. the Cryptcreeper winks, a lot, and buys a lot of rounds always flashing cash. He usually goes home alone and breaks out the lotion for some one on none action.
Example: "Oh. My. God! Becky, that old guy is totally watching you... ewwww, did he just smile and wink? He's so old, look at all his wrinkles. He's like Phil Donahue's dad or something. He's a creeper. A total creeper and so old, like the Crypt Keeper... He's a Cryptcreeper! Well, maybe he'll buy us a drink..."

Snuzzle- A cross between "snot" and "muzzle", snuzzle is used exclusively to define the dried crud on the inside of your car windows after the dog has gone for a ride. Snuzzle must be removed immediately or else no chemical synthesized by science so far is known to be able to fully removed it once cured.
Example: "I can vacuum the car, ma'am, but if you want me to jackhammer that snuzzle off your windows it's gonna cost you an extra five bucks."

Buffabulous- A cross between "buffet" and "fabulous". This is a back-handed compliment to be used at parties and events that are catered in a half-assed chaffing dish intensive sort of way.
Example: "The wild rice casserole was ok, but the chicken was really dry. Overall, it was buffabulous, but what do you expect when the bride and the groom are second cousins?"

Fabutastic- Fabulous and fantastic come together for this powerhouse match up. Often reserved as a snarky response when asked whether you enjoyed something that you didn't want to do.
Example: "The family reunion was fabutasic." See also Craptacular (with a nod to Bart Simpson) and Craptastic.

Nicotank- From my former smoking days, the theoretical container in which my body stored nicotine.
Example: "Man I need to fill my nicotank... let's go smoke.

Fauxnitiative- The result of "high level" meetings to plan the next movements of a company that usually turn out to go about as far as a fat guy going up the stairs. They start out strong but usually peter out before achieving the objective.

I don't hold trademarks on any of these terms, so if you like them, please use them. It is enough for me to know that something I created or used frequently got pushed into the vernaxicon (that's vernacular and lexicon in one! I'm a machine!).

Thanks for reading, cheers!