It is a Sham. Wow! (Or- Sir, You're Gonna Have to Bend Over if You Expect This to Fit.)

I admit I am piling on here, but it is the season for a lot of things and travel is certainly one of them. Even though Americans don't have the money (by their own admission), the AAA says more people will travel this season than any other holiday season on record. It seems like every year they say that. I suppose that statistic could be supported by just looking at the increase in general population... more people means more people traveling.

As such, there are a number of constants that can be counted on during the holidays especially in a post 9/11 world and they all have to do with delays, inconvenience and making you, the traveler feel weary, weak and small all in the name of security. Sadly, each of these obstacles to fun and adventure that are placed before us have very little net effect on our safety. Here is why. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing short of physical restraint that will stop a person determined to re-create 9/11 or something of the like. Again, there is no scan invasive enough, no penetrating dildo like aperture, no pat down, no nothing that can read the mind of a crazy person who is determined to try to break into the cockpit and take the plane down. It is more likely that enough people get fed up with the intrusiveness and inequality of the security process that people will simply stop flying and that's not bloody likely. Yet, despite well reasoned arguments showing evidence to the contrary, the company line is to solemnly put faith behind the methods and even continue to add more. Get used to it, pass the peanuts.

"But Bill," you protest, "What about people who are trying to bomb the plane, like the shoe bomber and the underwear bomber?" Yes, dear reader, what about them... they made it through security now didn't they? And still they failed to make a boom, except in the media. "Yes, but now we have to take off our shoes and go through the new backscatter X-ray machines that will show us if these things are hidden on a body and they'll verify your religion! We finally solved the problem!" Bullshit. You have created one more obstacle which is no more impervious than any of the existing obstacles and therefore will not guarantee anything but longer lines, fewer civil liberties, further breakdown of an already broken and overtaxed system and a big fat government contract for the company that makes these machines. Last I checked, we as a nation were not exactly flush with cash. Probably because we spend on unproven and inadequate crap like these machines that do nothing but assault modesty and right to privacy in a public place.

the above fails to mention that air cargo, not air passengers, do now, and have always posed a larger threat to airline security as evidenced by the most recent incidents centering around small explosive devices that made it on to cargo jets and into the holds of passenger bearing commercial jets that posed a very real potential threat and were found only by exploiting, (are you ready for this?), intelligence. Said another way, these items were not found via sophisticated technology or even tried and true bomb sniffing dogs. Instead good old fashioned police detective work tracked and ultimately identified the packages of nefarious content leading to their removal and containment. It is still unclear whether these were even real devices capable of taking down the planes, or whether they were trial balloons used to test the system designed to find these items. Historically speaking, if your aircraft goes down it is not in any part the fault of your fellow passengers, regardless of creed or level of fundamentalist ideal. Let's explore, shall we?

Pan Am 103, Lockerbie- bomb in the hold of a transatlantic bound 747 takes it down, Libyan dissidents eventually tried and convicted of the massacre. Bomb was secreted in a boom box (how apropos) packed in the suitcase of a traveler who was registered to be on, but never boarded the plane... Red flag, much? 270 dead. Cause-Terrorism.

ValuJet 592, Florida Everglades- Some dumb-ass cargo master with a third grade education put cylinders that were full of pure oxygen in the hold. Um, are you supposed to do that? No. Why did you? The manifest said they were supposed to be empty. After the oxygen burned setting fire to the DC-9, ultimately blowing it up they were indeed empty. 110 dead. Cause-Poor procedures and management/poor government oversight of the airline.

TWA 800, East Moriches (Long Island), New York- 747 bound transatlantic to Rome exploded off the coast of Long Island. Cause? They think (that is to say they are pretty sure), the center belly fuel tank, which was nearly empty (the fuel was not needed to provide the range to get to the destination) exploded as the result of a short in a fuel sender/pump wire that sparked and ignited the fumes, blowing up the plane. Capton insulation on the wiring quietly thought to be the problem as it gets brittle and cracks with age and when exposed to fuel and oil and extreme temperatures (had these people ever been on an airplane?) causing dead shorts and possible sparks. This was not widely published as nearly 100% of the planes flying at the time used Capton insulated wiring in the same manner as flight 800. After the incident, the U.S. military required systematic removal of Capton wiring in all it's aircraft. The FAA did not. 230 dead. Cause- The fundamental design and materials used to operate the aircraft.

Feel better, yet? How about the AeroBrasilia 707 that ran itself out of fuel crashing near the runway killing a bunch of people, or the Northwest flight out of Detroit where the pilots didn't set the airplane to the proper takeoff configuration and all but a baby girl and a few people on the ground were eliminated. Or the engine explosion of a United DC-10 outside of Sioux City, Iowa resulting in the spectacular fiery cartwheel down the runway of the airport. It was a miracle anyone lived, but 175 of 285 did. Then there's the L10-11 in Dallas felled by wind shear, and more than a few 737 (the most popular, numerous and widely flown aircraft in the world) that fell out of the sky due to rudders that suddenly reversed the motion that was sent through the pedals due to an unknown phenomenon of aerodynamics brought out by a flaw in the design. How about the 2 airbus 330s that were lost over the Atlantic ocean in the last 36 months due they think to a poorly designed pitot tube which caused the instruments to stop reading, leaving the plane vulnerable to malfunction and mismanagement?

Waiting in long lines, being cavity searched, vivisected and sprayed with cancer causing X-rays would not have saved your life if you were on any of these flights. My intent with the brief survey of modern commercial aviation accidents is to show in the whole of of aviation history there have been a statistically insignificant number of incidents involving the successful usurping of control of your airplane, or placement of items that were successful in bringing down your aircraft. Those incidents that did happen were sensational and often tragic with high death tolls and lots of fires, is why we all watch the news. But the odds are long that they will be repeated.

So you are being tremendously inconvenienced, had the chances of missing a flight or causing delays increased and effectively raped of your civil liberties each time you fly with the net result being that the clock continues at an unabated pace to tick down to the next tragedy a fact which is as regrettable as it is inevitable. On second thought, keep the peanuts... pass the gin.