Squeeky Wheels

I guess I kinda let loose a little on the phone with my parents the other day. I was ranting about how jealous I was they had an iPad and I had, well, not an iPad. They also have an iPhone and something called a Kindle from some fly-by-night internet place called Amazon... whatever that is. Since Barnes and Noble paid my mortgage (well, most of it), for five years, I don't choose to recognize that off-branded stuff.

"I'm too broke! I am tired of being broke! I want, I want, I want!" That's exactly what I said to my parents in my animated man squeal over the phone. Two days later, my Mother called and said they would like to buy us an iPad for our forthcoming anniversary. Well, OK then, finally someone gave the baby his bottle!

And I say; it's about time.

There is a lesson to be learned here, children. That lesson is, if you don't get what you want, complain to someone who can give it to you and keep complaining until you get it. I heard of a study that recently came out that came to the conclusion that men make 18% more money on average when they are a jerk at work. For women the differential is 5%. That's some pretty good cabbage, people and it's all there waiting for you to collect.

We are going camping this weekend with a number of people from church. The "men" according to the information sheet, are making Sunday breakfast. It goes on to list the"men", Steve... Brent... Gene... No Bill. Well, there is a Bill, and he is a strapping bald man with movie star good looks, just like your author. But alas, he is not your author.

I did all I could do. I went about getting results. I complained. When I was told I could help, I said, "Oh, no... I'm going to sleep in, and I will be first in line for breakfast and I am going to complain about everything!" To which another bystander retorted "So it will be just like normal, then."

Touche.

I complained enough to get Emily to acquiesce to letting me get a new car. I put a deposit in today and will pick it up and close the deal tomorrow! Being bitchy works for me!

People, the world is out there waiting to be taken by you! Don't let it pass you by simply by being patient and friendly. Don't be satisfied with your perfectly acceptable lives, go get more! Make people suffer for their insolence if they don't fall at your knees and give you all you demand!

It works for me, it can work for you!
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Ps. Tongue out of cheek, we are really appreciative of your generosity, Mom and Dad. We can't wait to get our iPad!