Once upon a time, in the village of Nibs, there was an ogre of below average intelligence but who looked just like you would expect an ogre to look. He had a mean brow and a skinny rat-like face and a big gap between his angry looking teeth. He was a mean man and everyone in the village knew it. But he was powerful and yielded strict control over all the villagers so that the mayor, who was really in charge of the never found out about all the bad things the ogre was doing.
The mayor hired a man to work for him and the ogre quickly discovered the man was very smart. he was well liked, and handsome with a winning smile, chiseled jaw and strong features. He was not perfect, this man, but he inspired people to do their best and encouraged them to admit their mistakes so they could get better. The man admitted his mistakes, too.
For a long time, the ogre would blame his mistakes on the man. Being a good guy, the man didn't say too much. He tried to explain to the ogre that the villagers would work harder for him if they liked him, but the ogre didn't listen. When the man would go to the ogre with his problems, because, after all, the ogre was his boss and that what he is supposed to do, the ogre didn't listen; even though he pretended to. The man tried so hard to make suggestions and make things work better between the villagers and the ogre, but it just wasn't working.
Nothing changed for the better. And not only did it not get better, it got much, much worse. Soon the man had been given so much work to do by the ogre that he was gone from his cute little home in his cute little village for a long stretch at a time in a far away city beyond the enchanted forest. It was a hard life, but the man knew he had to take care of his bride, a beautiful maiden with a pure heart.
He made the best of it. He worked hard and labored in the city beyond the enchanted forest, even though it was sometimes a scary place that smelled like stinkberries. He continued to be gone so much that his chiseled features began to sag, and he put on weight around his middle. Soon, he started drinking too much potion every night, just to get to normal.
He made a heartfelt appeal to the ogre and begged to be released from his clutches so he could go and be with his sweet princess in their cute little home in the serene little village. But the ogre went to the mayor and the mayor took the man and told the man all sorts of stories about how his work was so important and the city beyond the enchanted forest couldn't function without him.
The mayor made some promises to the man that if he kept trying real hard, he would give the man some help to make his life more comfortable. So the man relented, thinking the mayor to be a kind man. The mayor arranged for the man to have a nice place to stay in the city beyond the enchanted forest. Sometimes, the man's fair maiden would come, too. They didn't like being way from their cute home in their cute village, but it was better than being apart, for they were very much in love.
Soon, though, the ogre had the man going even farther away from his cute little home in his cute little village, all the way across a vast inland sea to a place so ugly, they called it Uglyville. The man was now forced to toil in Uglyville and the city beyond the enchanted forest and was home even less to his cute home in his cute village with his fair maiden wife.
This incensed the man who was now drinking potion even at lunch time! He was almost unrecognizable, his cheeks were puffy and his eyes had large dark circles around them. It was very bad. His patience was always tested and though he tried to find happiness, he just couldn't. Everywhere he looked, he only saw the ogre, laughing as he yanked the man to and fro, hither and yon between Uglyville and the city beyond the enchanted forest. It seemed the man would never get home to his cute village and his cute home with his fair maiden wife. And when he did, it was for so short a period of time it was almost like a dream.
The man had a little breakdown after a while of this, and the mayor decided he could spend more time in his cute home, in his cute village with his fair maiden and work more from there. But the ogre didn't like this and kept it so the man would have to spent time in the city beyond the enchanted forest. The man was sad. He was no longer kind and good looking, he was just sad and mean and fat and ugly and drunk on potions. his fair maid began to cry, for the man she married was gone.
The ogre promised the man every day that he would be able to work from his cute home in his cute village with his fair wife, soon. He made all sorts of promises like that. But the man knew they would never come true, for the ogre was a skilled liar.
Finally, the cute village began to grow and needed more attention from the man, so he started to go to the city beyond the enchanted forest less and less. He was starting to get happy again, although he still hated working for the ogre. He thought things were at least getting better when he was once again summoned to the city beyond the enchanted forest where he was told that it, not his village was to be the focus of his attention again!
The man began to wonder if it was worth living. He drank a lot more potion now than before and was chasing it with barley root to give it a new kick since the potion didn't work so well anymore.
Finally, the ogre sent a message one day that made the man finally lose it. He looked at the message and then in the mirror and saw he looked just like the ogre now, too. He began to despair and his fair maiden wife said it was time to tell the ogre he didn't want to work for him anymore. The man knew this was the only way if he were to survive, so he sent a letter to the mayor and the ogre telling them to stick it in their respective pie holes.
Immediately the man's world brightened and the sun came out over his cute house in his cute village and his fair maiden began to smile. He looked in the mirror and saw he was already starting to look like his old self again.
Many of the people who worked for the man, and with the man, expressed their sadness that he was going to leave. but they all understood. Just when the man thought things were hopeless and he would lose his cute house in his cute village, or heaven forbid his fair maiden, the black night rode up on his Arab charger and lent a hand to the man.
He said the man was too important to lose and that everyone knew the ogre had brought upon himself the problems that he was having. Even the mayor knew, though he was too loyal to the ogre to say so. The black knight benevolently asked the man to work for him, in the village of Nibs where he could be happy and not work for the ogre anymore.
So the story continues, since the man has so much to think about. But now his head is clear, his once illusive smile can be seen again on his face and you can almost see a chiseled jaw beneath his extra chin.
Did he live happily ever after? Stay tuned.
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