Moments of Clarity

I have discovered that I am at the very most a few moments of wisdom and clarity punctuated by a whole lot of mediocrity. Like a blanket that is mostly monochromatic brown, but displays occasionally and without a warning, a shock of color randomly woven into the sea of nothingness. Sometimes there are some pretty big brown stretched with no color in sight.

I was reminded of this this morning when the owner of my company wanted me to refresh everyone on my vision at the end of my meeting by reading what I had written. As I had a seizure (because this was an unrehearsed ad lib and rare departure from our disciplined agenda), I had to admit, "I have no idea what you are talking about."

What he was talking about was something I wrote on an internal report about three weeks ago. I had forgotten. He read it for me to the group and I recognized it as being my own. I recognized it as sounding like it was written by someone who was not only able to simply and effectively convey the desired sentiment, but also do it with great eloquence. I am usually able to see past the relative goodness of whatever I do to focus on the zits and pocks; but this time I was caught off guard and my internal nay-sayer was off yelling at himself in a mirror somewhere.

It actually took me by surprise how good I thought it was. This little ditty was not spoken about at the time. It was an internal report after all. But here, the biggest of wigs is quoting... me.

I don't think I could write that today. At least not right now. Maybe if I ever shake loose the many cob webs that are still inhabiting my head on account of the weekend. I was basically in a gastronomically induced coma out of which I am trying to claw with approximately none of my might.

As of now, I am seeing a pretty unobstructed sea of brown. the problem with being able to forge chestnuts out of disparate thoughts is that people start to think you are pretty smart. And then the old adage about the more people talk the less intelligent they become kicks in and everyone realizes that while you might come out with one in the clutch every here and there, you are pretty much drooling on yourself the rest of the time.

Sometimes, the best things I say come without my intervention at all. I will hear it as I say it, just like the person I am talking to. I am often just as surprised as you are. Today I would be surprised and delighted to have a moment of clarity. Of course, I'm not sure I would recognize it if it hit me between the eyes.