iRegardless

A co-worker of mine belongs to an organization that is involved with multilevel marketing of a group of healthful products. He is involved in this primarily because he believes in the products and he perceives great value in the leadership and motivational support system that is built around the products themselves.

Fair enough.

My co-worker lent me a few CDs, because he knows I am always interested in listening to motivational speakers for a variety of reasons. The best ones always offer some sort of new perspective and find a way to connect with the listener. Under the right circumstances, these types of programs can help you over a hump, help you find your lost will, or just help you by teaching you something you didn't know before.

My first CD, which I started listening to was entitled, "The Churchill Factor." Anyone who knows me knows of my deep and abiding admiration and respect for that most pugnacious and brilliant Brittan and his ability to share his intellect by employing his unmatched and highly quotable wit. According to the CD, Churchill is "widely considered" the most important Brit of all time. I haven't heard that myself, and I feel that most broad statements of that sort are highly arguable, but I don't disagree.

So far, so good. Setting aside the deep Michigander accent of the speaker, (I am guilty of it myself being a Michigander), he started wavering off the original point. Churchill hadn't been mentioned now in several minutes. We were many thoughts off the topic now and I wondered if the man was using notes, or just sort of... talking.

And then it happened.

He used "irregardless". And as soon as I heard it, my ears began to bleed. I thought to myself I must have misheard this man, who now was talking about 'personal mastery.' Clearly a professional presenter who understands the importance of personal mastery did not just use a word that is not a word.

And he said it again with more feeling, using repetition to underscore his core point, which I have long since forgotten, since I was having a TIA while driving on account of his proud use and reuse of 'irregardless.'

He lost me there and never got me back. I donned my thick rimmed glasses complete with neck chain, zipped up my black silk robe, doffed my mortar board and set about mentally dissecting each and every phrase and argument as though the speaker was offering oral arguments in defense of his thesis.

He was losing. He could not win. He would never win.

After the 'I' word, (non-word), I noticed he had poor diction. he used the word recognize a lot, except it came out each time as reckonize. Before the dropping of the 'i-bomb' that likely wouldn't have bothered me.

Then it happened again.

"Risk adversion" was the next misbegotten Mondegreen. I am sure he meant 'risk aversion', but he bumbled boldly forward continuing on, again using repetition to drive home the point that he was an idiot.

My bile was whipped into a froth by now, and so to other drivers who were paying attention I was red-faced, full bore screaming at my center console to this man as though I was in his audience. I assure you, he is lucky I wasn't, for I surely would have taken umbrage with these unforgivable gaffes right there in front of God and everybody.

It isn't that you need to be a master of superfluous erudition or possess preternatural perspicacity in order to be a good speaker. In fact, the number one rule of public presenting is to know your audience and tailor your message to that audience.

In other words, if you are speaking to an audience of presumed wide-spread education and intelligence, then you must speak in a way that the least capable among the audience will understand. Patton called it 'Corporal Rule'... Only until your orders can be understood and carried out by the lowliest of grunts are they good enough to be disseminated to the leadership.

This man, who was now talking about personal mastery in public speaking had never learned a thing about public speaking. And my co-worker, known for using such chestnuts as 'sleep deprivized' and others I can't remember at this moment, only takes more bad habits away from this 'educational' series.

The punchline here is that he wants me to buy into the monthly series for $50.00 a month. I now face the indelicate task of explaining to someone, (who is my superior on the corporate chart, but with a dotted line), that I don't think I have much to learn from this particular program.

I don't have a point. I just needed to get it off my chest. And I don't appreciate that there are people out there who would tell me I am being a snob and that as long as I understood what he was trying to say, I should stuff my disdain for his mistake.

I disagree. If you place yourself in a position of expertise, you had best know exactly how to comport yourself and telegraph your message using proper syntax and grammar, period. If you aren't willing to do that, sit down and let someone else do the speaking, for that would be the best and most educational gesture for which you are capable.