Friday, April 22, 2011

Mentally Ill People, Unite!

Terry Jones, the pastor from Florida who likes to burn Q'urans and shout hate speech in the name of the Lord.

Donald Trump, insisting the President is born abroad and therefore not legitimately president; and so is running for President himself.

Mentally ill people - Now is the time to rise up! These people are giving mental illness a bad name! These aren't merely depressed and neurotic people! They are people who are living in an alternate reality and successfully sucking the rest of us into it.

They must be stopped in the name of normal everyday mental illness! Throw away the Ambien, get off the couch, take that first shower of the week, get dressed in something not made of terrycloth and use that last bit of available credit to find these people and stop them!

You are legitimately mentally ill and so will avoid trial. You will go to a nice hospital and eat pudding and watch "The Price is Right" on a continuous loop. All your clothes will be terrycloth! There are nice windows to look out of.

And those of us who are not mentally ill will regard you as a hero! A hero, I say, for releasing us from the vortex of evil and megalomania that these demonic 'people' visit upon our world.

It is time to remove the foil hats, shuffle on down to wherever these people are and do the right thing. It's time you are known for something other than taking away the people we revere, like Lincoln, Kennedy, Lennon, and that girl from My Sister Sam!

Only you, mentally ill people, have the power and the built in ability to avoid the chair, to do what must be done as foretold by the aliens who watch over us!

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