Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing

There is a problem with people with great power and talent. In order to get power, or stature, not only do you have to actively seize it, but you have to first think that you are uniquely qualified and better equipped than everyone else to do whatever it is you are trying to do. And then you have to act that way. There are few famous people who would list being humble as a virtue.

These very traits narrow the group of people who are even willing to pursue political office, or pundancy, or fame or what have you. And that group of people seems to be prone to bad behavior. Or at least to behavior that "the rest of us" couldn't get away with in "real life." What made former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn think that a hotel maid would submit to his aggressive sexual advances? Because he is rich and powerful and I have no doubt, did this before. Lots of times. He fancies himself as someone who can just do that sort of thing. Imagine for a moment what sort of thought train would make you come to the conclusion that you should strip naked and lay in wait for the maid to come into your room and pounce on her? I can't.

I am sure that Messrs. Schwartzenegger and Weiner don't feel like they are getting away with anything, and I am certain that life feels very real to them right now. But their lives will not be affected to the same extent as if they were Loan Officer and Boy Scout Troop Leader Schwartzenegger or Rabbi Weiner (I don't know if he is Jewish, but it is a sorta Jewish sounding name, so sue me for defamation).

The Governator and the Representative from the fractured state of New York will both certainly lose their wives. Maybe there will even be some wider estrangement from family or children. But their streams of income will not likely dry up. There will be acting jobs whenever Arnie decides to jump back in the pool. Tony will get media deals and consultancies to prop him up while he finds religion, comes to grip with his sexual addiction and narcisstic personality disorder and spins it all into a perfectly marketable redemption all of which will be videotaped and spit back for complete consumption by the hoary mortal masses. Following that is the ubiquitous book deal, the motivational speaking tour and the adoring fans who have a never ending well of adulation to throw at their newly saved hero.

The only thing that is missing in this scenario is a seat next to Oprah for an hour of crying and cleansing visualization, which of course would be capped off with a give-away of some sort. Of course, now She has Her OWN network, so instead of one lamentable hour, maybe we'll get a whole reality series to chronicle the process. Joy.

As an aside, I have read unsubstantiated rumblings that Maria Schriver is being courted heavily by Ms. Winfrey to be the subject of a reality show on the network. I am sure it is only because She feels that it will be helpful to the throngs of women whose ultra rich and powerful husbands have lead a double life between their jobs as a movie actor and a politician. Hopefully Ms. Winfrey is prepared to use her mega-millions to prop this network up, because there aren't a lot of people who can identify with this particular set of circumstance. Of course, I forget about the people who crane their necks to see carnage after and accident- it will get all sorts of ratings, what the hell am I talking about?

But none of this is my point. My point is that these men and women who achieve a certain station are essentially free to do whatever. And we let them get away.

Sure, Lohan did some time and is no stranger to rehab and court ordered community service, but all her bad behavior did not, will not, by any stretch of the imagination ruin her life as she knows it. Her own decision to continue down the path that she has forged will ultimately end her life, but she will be fabulously wealthy to the bitter end.

In my reality, a drunk driving charge would ruin my life. I drive a lot for work, so I couldn't do my job if I lost my license or couldn't get insurance... these are both great possibilities for a drunk driving conviction depending on the circumstances. This presumes I still had a job after I got out of jail, which in and of itself is questionable. But I certainly wouldn't come out the other side of that with the financial fortitude to hire a driver to take me everywhere. I couldn't even get a job as a driver for a well-heeled person. The closest I would be able to get to a car is living in it, or taking a ride in the back of a hearse when it was all over. Perhaps I am being a bit dramatic. Or not ask Mel Gibson. Drunk driving and anti-semitism all in one blow. Didn't he just have a critically acclaimed movie?

And then there is my vocation (which also happens to be an avocation) of working with the youth. With a record, I couldn't do that. Not that I would be a bad person, (or worse than before anyway), but the church and the parents frown on that sort of thing.

All of this is intended to illustrate the consequence of actions. I think about what I do before I do it because of the consequences. For instance, in my 20s, I was far more interested in driving new cars every 18 months than in saving money. I am suffering the consequences of that now. If you removed consequences, my ID driven "I'll do anything once" mentality would take control and who knows what I would do? I guarantee it wouldn't be something I would want my mother to know about or see.

In Finland and Sweden, the driving fines are on a scale commensurate with the income of the person who did the infraction. The largest speeding fine in history was recently levied against a Swede in the amount equivalent to $103,600 American dollars... for going 47 in a 31 zone (keep in mind they're metric, hence the wonky numbers).

I did that yesterday. I haven't driven today, but I may do it today and since I am honest, I will likely do it again tomorrow. If I get popped with a ticket, it will hurt. It will be a couple hundred bucks. I don't have that in my discretionary fund.

But if I were a multi-millionaire a couple hundred bucks is like a meal. No biggie. But $100 Grand? It may not cripple the guy (just like a couple hundy wouldn't cripple me), but he surely knows the value and worth of that kind of money and I venture it will stop him in the future. It is a real consequence to him, (just like a couple hundy is to me).

I am no great fan of Government fines and fees, etc., so I don't advocate this system in any way, but I sure do think it is worth exploring what we can do to actually make some of these prima donas feel a little pain for their bad behavior.

Don't buy the book. Don't go the the speaking engagement. Don't watch the show or even comment on the hype on Twitter. Don't even go to the protest, because in some sick way, that seems to only make them stronger, too. In fact, don't even read this blentry. Well, you're like 7/8 of the way through, so go ahead and finish, but feel free to deny having read it after the fact.)

Ignore these people who think they are more human than human. Don't admire their work. Hit them in the pocket book. Then maybe they will repent of their actions for real and be faced with something the rest of us are faced with every day... We have to act like courteous human beings and be kind and decent to one another, lest we get voted off this island in a very literal way.

Last week on NPR's Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me, Kevin Bacon said he went out in a well crafted disguise a few years ago, just to be able to go in public without being mobbed and followed and hassled. He hated it. "People weren't nice to me", he said earnestly. Kevin Bacon, the actor apparently gets a lot more respect than Kevin Bacon the man. And that is our fault, people. Our fault alone. Mr. Bacon appears to be a class act so draws no ire from me, but maybe he learned a little something from his experiment. Too bad the rest of us can't do the same.

I don't care who you are, vows are vows. A person who can't follow through on their vows is not worth the ground they stand on, whether that ground is Italian marble in a fabulous mansion or cracked concrete under an overpass. Money and power should not be a free pass. Don't go through the motions of being a normal conventional citizen if you just plan on twittering your business and fathering children with a woman other than your wife, or driving your hyper-exotic car into a crowd of people under the influence or laying in wait for the maid to pop the door open.

If you're gonna be an asshole, at least be real about it. People in this backward spiraling Godless country will love you all the more for it, and you can skip the Oprah chair and ride the wave of your celebrity all the way to the next party. I guarantee no one will stand in your way.