Tuesday, August 17, 2010

If a Tree Falls in a Garage...

On Sunday morning, I was greeted by Facebook pictures of a tree that had bifurcated a wall of my best friends' garage. Ironically they, like myself, hate their garage. For various reasons, it is inadequate to suit their needs. It is not a bad structure to be sure, but it is not quite what they have in mind when they envision a functional garage.
My garage is wholly inadequate by all measures. when it rains outside, it rains inside... harder. There is a cornucopia of the living and the dead in my garage. It is a microcosm of all nature. A vignette speaking to the struggle, and yes the failure, to survive.
I have given up cleaning my garage. When it is clean, it is no more suitable to my needs. It looks no better, is no more inviting nor less frightening. The various boards designed to buttress the structure and make the space weather tight are failing. The lolly column supposedly holding up the gracefully sagging main beam is forlornly leaning, its base barely clinging to the improvised footing made of what appears to be discarded graham crackers laminated together by cheese whiz.
When I sweep and vacuum my garage, it only serves to make the wild kingdom living within try harder. They reassert themselves vehemently to reclaim the space for their own.
I have an old Corvette in the garage, which looks sullen when I park it in its damp little hole like if it had its way it would be anywhere else. The car, with its 30-plus year-old engine puts out quite an exhaust. It is amazing how far we have come in a short time with automotive technology, but I digress. A few times a year, I confess, I start the car, close the door and wait.
When I can see the exhaust leaking from the various and sundry holes, splits, cracks and windows of the garage, I open it back up, fight through the fumes and shut down the car.
this seems to stop nature in its tracks for a few days.
Even then, it is only stunned.
Nature is turning the rear of my property back into its soil. Slowly. Surely.
We as a species are very egocentric. We believe we can kill our planet by simply living, consuming and producing the itinerant waste associated with same.
While I agree we need to be good stewards of our planet, I think we needn't worry too greatly. All she has to do is shiver a couple times like a dog that just ran through a sprinkler and we are toast. Every last one of us.
Our planet, about which so much has been done to save will be fine.
We humans? Ahem... exit stage left please. Thank you for visiting.
Each stiff wind that blows I hope to see the garage go down in a slow ballet accompanied by the type of slow motion sound effect like that at the end of a monster movie when the monster inevitably dies.
Only then could I afford to build a new garage on a new slab in the right part of my lot thus kicking nature back a bit. This of course assumes an insurance payment of a certain size.
My friends' garage? Well, as inadequate to their needs as it is, it will unfortunately survive. It is a strong structure well built and well maintained. It will be repaired and it will continue to quietly taunt its owners... "I'm not good enough, but I am too good to get rid of..."
Nature gave that structure one solid kick to the groin as opposed to the everlasting swirly it is giving to my garage.
I wonder which it will choose for us humans?

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