Friday Miscellany

TIME
The week after coming home from being out of town is always a little surreal. Time is referenced by what you were doing last Thursday at 8:20 pm and measuring that against what you are doing now on Thursday, 8:20 pm.
Here it is, Friday and I can't believe this week has gone by so quickly. Since I had to jump right into travel and meetings upon my return, the week has been a blur. This morning at oh-dark-thirty when I woke up, I couldn't believe it was already Friday.
It is now 9:48 and I can't believe it's still Friday.
My, how the gears have changed. I have finally downshifted and find my brain struggling to understand the new speed. I am moving fast and slow at the same time.
I wonder if Einstein ever felt this way and that opened his mind up to the assertion that space and time are not constant, but instead they bend and flex and speed up and slow down like water in a river.
Indeed, Dr. Einstein, it is all relative.
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SPACE
After spending a week on a gym floor with a bunch of boys, my perspective is all changed. I put some clothes on the floor of my office Monday while unpacking and they are still there. I have walked past, through and over them innumerable times since and it hasn't phased me.
Time to get back into normal. I am sure my "gym floor" organizing system is starting to get on Em's nerves. Especially since I would never let her get away with the same.
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DAYS OF RECKONING
Friday, August 3rd is my day of reckoning.There is a tri fold brochure on my desk staring at me. It's features a happy looking elderly African American couple smiling confidently with the words "Having Surgery?" written on it.Not being elderly, and not being entirely confident, I am having a hard time relating to the brochure, which is full of dos and don'ts.
Have I mentioned I don't like being told what to do and don't do? I suppose if you know me that comes as no surprise.
One item asks, "May I shower or bathe before surgery?"
The answer is "Please shower or bathe before surgery. You may brush your teeth."
So, not getting out of that for the day.
They can't even let me know more than a day in advance when my surgery on that day will be. And I can't eat for 8 hours before. Have they met me? I am already carb loading in case I can't eat between dinner on Thursday and say, 2:00 pm on Friday. I can't stay up all night and eat later... that only makes me wake up famished. Isn't that weird? The later and bigger I eat the more hungry I am when I awake.
And what of coffee? Do they know what I am like with no coffee? Emily might need to keep a TASER handy.
I had always hoped to get through life unaltered. Now I hope to live past Friday, August 3rd. Can the bear survive minor surgery?
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FAST FOOD
I like fast food. I have owned up to that on these pages before. Last week, I had plenty of opportunity to indulge in all manner of fast food.
Last night, we had BLTs and corn on the cob, (Em's favorite summer meal). Let me tell you, that is better than any fast food out there. Are you listening, fast food establishments? If you make it, I will come.
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AND FINALLY...
It is that time again, where the world gets together and attempts to transcend racial and political differences and compete on a purely human level. Every four years, we dust off our brightest and hope for medal counts and bragging rights.
Fat Americans ironically wedge themselves into their Barcaloungers or mount bar stools and cram deep fried somethings into their mouths and shout USA!, USA! at a TV upon which is playing a sport that in non-Olympic years exists only in the heads and hearts of the athletes and coaches.
McDonalds will hawk 2,000 calorie meals and Budweiser will tempt us into drinking too much, while Wal*Mart will brag about their low prices on China made goods. The Church of Latter Day Saints will make us feel like we have no moral character, (which they are probably right about), and the political candidates up for election in November will relentlessly pummel us with lies and negativity, statistics out of context and fake smiles.
Look closely at what you are watching and make an attempt to actually "see" our country at a glance. Then we can talk about how we can once again be proud to shout USA! USA!