But still, I cook. Usually from taste. I deconstruct what must be in a given dish and then reconstruct it my way. Some food doesn't need a recipe. It is what it is.
Like chili.
I love to make chili. I have made chili since I can remember, always refining and changing things until I get what I want. Well, that's one story anyway, but it's apocryphal. The real reason is it changes from time to time is that I forget what I did in the past.
That ends now, because I just made my second batch of a chili I really like. I want to be able to repeat it in the future. So, I'm going to write a recipe. Why not share it with you, the masses. I mean, it's not like it's the some super secret… it's chili.
Chill Billy's Willy Chili
Ingredients:
2 lbs. ground beef (the cheaper the better)
1 lb. ground pork (I like mild, because there is plenty of flavor here, but go with hot if you can deal
with the burning ring of fire… you know what I'm talking about)
(Note: If you're the type of person who would have gone to Woodstock wearing a Brooks Brothers suit, you can substitute ground turkey or chicken, but I want you to know that this is a sin against humanity and if you want to each chili without the hearty meats, I suggest having some bullion, instead.)
3 28 oz. cans of petite diced tomatoes
1 12 oz. can of tomato paste
1 15.5 oz. can of light red kidney beans
1 15.5 oz. can of dark red kidney beans
1 15.5 oz. can of cannellini beans
(You can use black beans if you like the scatology that comes along with them)
7-8 cerano peppers
2-3 banana peppers
7-8 large cloves of garlic
1 medium yellow onion (substitute white onion for a more acidity if you are divorced or recently
spurned)
1 medium red onion
(You know what? Use any kind of onion you want, see if I care. I mean, it's MY recipe, but if you want to screw it all up and muddle your onions because you think you know better than me, what do I care?)
1 12 oz. bottle of dark ale (or preferred) beer
1 bottle dry red wine (cabernet or dry red table wine with minimal residual sugar - Merlot and Shiraz
are unacceptable)
2 cups brewed coffee (substitute 1 tsp. prepared coffee to 2 cups water, or don't put coffee in at all if
you are some sort of Juan Valdez hating jerk)
1 Tsp. red pepper flake
2 Tsp. chili powder
2 Tsp. Paprika
4 Tsp. garlic powder
2 Tsp. onion powder
2 Tsp. cumin
2 Tsp. dill weed
2 Tsp. ground mustard
2 Tsp. salt
4 Tsp. black pepper
2 Tsp. chicken soup base
1 dash of ground cinnamon
Got any other dry spices around? Throw some in.
Method:
Open the bottle of wine. You don't need it for the dish for awhile, but it's nice to have a glass of wine at the beginning of a journey… so long as it's not a driving journey. Sip the wine while you pull out all the assorted accoutrement necessary, like a Dutch oven, cutting boards, knives, a vegetable chopper a small frying pan, etc. It's best to plan your work spaces, move the trash can if you need to… get everything just so. This process will take as long as it takes to drink a glass of wine.
Set oven to 375 degrees (Fahrenheit, d'uh)
Once you have everything just so, refresh your glass of wine. Place it near you where it can comfort you and be available to your service, but not in your way.
Mix dry spices in an oven safe sauté pan and place in oven to toast a bit. How long? Until you remove it will suffice… this isn't baking. It's cooking. Cooking is an art. I think you need a sip of wine. You worry too much.
Cut peppers in half down the length and place skin side up on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper.
Peel garlic cloves and place them on the baking sheet with the peppers.
Drizzle the whole lot with a little olive oil and place into the hot oven to roast a bit. I don't know how long… a bit.
Place the meats into the Dutch oven and chop and stir while they brown completely.
Keep working at the meat with a wooden spoon or paddle. This is hard work and requires you to stop every here and there to tipple some wine.
Drain the excess grease from the meat. I didn't used to do this, but since my fortieth birthday is around the corner, I'd like to be there to celebrate it.
Place the drained, browned meat back in the Dutch oven. Remove the sauté pan of dry seasoning and sprinkle it over the meat while stirring. try to get an even coating. This will form the base of your chili. If you do this wrong, you just wasted about $15.00 worth of food and a half or more bottle of wine.
Finely chop the onion. I use a veggie chopper like a Slap Chop, but not a Slap Chop, because I don't live in a trailer. If you live in a trailer, and/or have a Slap Chop, use it. Mine is by a company that doesn't pay me, but I will say they rhyme with Campered Phef.
Put the raw onion in with the cooked meat. Stir.
Whew… there's a lot going on here. Take a sip of wine. Wait! is there at least 2 cups left? No? Ok, grab the beer you opened earlier. Yeh, that's nice.
Dump a cup or so of the beer into the mix. Go ahead and dump in the 2 cups of wine in, too. The rest is for you and if you're doing it right, it will all be gone by the time you're done.
Oh, crap! the peppers! Pull those out. Set them aside and let them cool.
Open all the beans and drain them and rinse them. Place them into the Dutch oven.
Open the tomatoes and throw them in.
Are you stirring? No? Why? Because I didn't tell you to? Well, do you need to be told to wear pants before you leave for work? Wait, you are wearing pants, aren't you?
OK, stir.
Use your Slap Chop to chop up the roasted peppers and garlic. They won't chop so much as they will mush into a tapenade. That's good… I'm too old for chili that has full bites of peppers.
Mix it all in and stir it up.
Add a little of the liquid coffee. Trust me. It's good. And it's better than adding water… water has no flavor and every time you add water into a recipe, Jesus cries.
Add the soup base now, too. Mostly because I forgot to tell you to do it earlier and you've shown a propensity to be a bit of a lamb. I mean you could have added it any time you wanted to, but since you waited until now, that's fine.
Stir the chili and make sure it's the consistency you like. Chili is supposed to be pretty hefty, so don't over thin it. You could always add a little tomato juice to get it the way you want it. But if you need to, add a little water. It's OK now. It wasn't OK then. Don't ask, just follow the recipe!
Let the chili steep for an hour at low simmer before you even try it. Chili needs to sit and mature. The flavors need to marry and divorce and go through a mid-life crisis and find Jesus and settle down with a nice flavor that respects it for what it is and doesn't expect it to be something it's not. This takes time.
After a minimum of an hour, taste it and add more spices as required to bring it to where you want it. You could splash some Tobasco Sauce, or if you live in that trailer and use a Slap Chop, you could use Frank's Red Hot.
Wait another hour or even two. Like I said, chili doesn't come into it's own right away. It needs to be nurtured. You should stir it every once in awhile. It's not necessary, but food that has been doted upon always tastes better.
Notes:
- If you don't drink, or don't want to put alcohol in your dish, replace with like volume of tomato juice. It's not as fun, but, whatever.
- If you don't like your chili to have a bite, I suggest making another dish. Like milquetoast, or something tofu based. You can buy those things at the store that has special parking for electric cars and women who gave birth by midwife.
And that's my chili recipe. Enjoy in good health!
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