On the Road (Again), Naturally

Bill Uebbing, Author, Creator, Technical Consultant, Editor, Content Manager and Community Relations Liaison  to "Grandiose Ruminations Rooted in Minutiae", (GRRIM), is traveling this week and will be unable to post a blentry.

Astute readers will note the abject lack of posting as of late. The Author wishes to apologize and blames the lack of serviceable ideas for blog posts on his "day job", which lately has been a day job and night job in many different cities. Sometimes, somehow even all at one time. It's really quite amazing.

Stay tuned for next week's blentry entitled, "Still Traveling Because of the Holidays", wherein the author will discuss his inability to 'catch a break' and the affect of driving so much on his lower back and bum area. It's sure to be a people pleaser.

Until then, The author would like to recycle some road witticisms shared previously on Facebook. Sorry for the clip show. It's the best I got.

10 Immutable Laws of Staying in a Hotel:
1. You are the only one there to sleep.
2. The room is never dark enough except the floor area immediately around coffee tables and other things that jump out at your feet on the way to the bathroom at 2:00am.
3. The parking lot light/sunrise will be concentrated by the seam in the curtain to the exact spot where your eyes are in bed.
4. Your non-smoking room will smell just like cigarette smoke, although that's impossible, because it's a non-smoking room.
5. The dialogue on the TV will be inexplicably hard to hear, but you can make out every word coming from the neighbor's TV.
6. The light switch for the lamp is not at the door, but hidden on the wall around the corner of the closet, meaning you have to fumble around your bags to turn on a light...
7. Which will inevitably have been turned off by its switch and therefore will not turn on via the wall switch.
8. There will either be no bathroom fan, or there will be a bathroom fan that was apparently a leftover turbojet from a decommissioned 707 based on its overwhelming noise. Of course, same said fan will be completely ineffective in the removal of either steam or noxious emanations.
9. The shower mixer will have temperatures. "Oh my god, my skin melted" hot, or "Oh my god, my outty just became an inny" cold.
10.Finally the desk staff will be adept at telling you how welcome you are all the while making it tacitly known that this is the last they expect to see or hear from you during your stay and you are on your own until checkout at which point they will immediately ransack your former room looking for left over items to plunder. 

And a bonus

11. The people upstairs will be tango instructors from a famous clog dancing group and have to get up exactly 30 minutes before you do, thusly robbing you of that last awesome bit of sleep you were really counting on because you stayed up too late watching "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" on HBO and stayed up even later wondering why you stayed up so late to watch "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" and truly wondering if you are as smart as you thought you were since you didn't understand not even one second of it.

OK, maybe that one is a little obscure in its specificity, but like I said... It's the best I can do right now.