Time. Quantified time is an invention of humankind. Time certainly exists relative to the workings of the universe,(its birth, expansion, cooling and presumably one day in the future, zenith, recession and collapse). That last part sounds a lot like our economy, but I already got political in my last blentry which I promised not to do, so we aren't going there again.
No, I want to talk about something that affects many more people in a direct way than the economy. That is the biannual micromanaging of the clock that is Daylight Saving Time and Standard Time.
I hear tell that back in the day, Daylight Saving Time was an economic necessity brought about by our largely agrarian society. A great deal of our country's economy was linked to farming, so much so that it became necessary to adjust the time to shift seasonally to favor the farmers.
Apparently cows can tell time. Perhaps there was some bovine union who had work rules forbidding cows to give milk before 5 a.m. and instead of fighting about it, management just moved 5 a.m.
Stranger things have happened.
I don't know why there is a twice yearly time change. I don't feel like researching it. If you want to know, I challenge you to look it up. I appreciate a report back, as my ruminations are supposed to be rooted in minutiae, not just pulled from the firmament.
Regardless of the reason, I don't like it.
I sit here in my front room at 7:45 a.m. on March the 11th and it is for all intents and purposed full daylight outside. Next week at this time, were we not to manipulate the time, my weather man (that guy knows everything except the stupid weather) tells me that we would achieve this same level of brightness 6 minutes earlier, at 7:39 a.m. I submit to you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, it is rather nice!
I like to get up at 7. I usually get up before, but 7 is my goal. Come next week, it will be full bright at 6:30 in the morning, and that means before too long the birds will start chirping at 5:30 in the morning and my summer of sleeplessness will begin!
I love summer. I crave summer. Summer is my destiny. I am not wishing away any aspect of summer but for the needless time change that simply makes no sense! The sun comes up, the sun goes down and in between we have adapted a way to live in all conditions on a daily rotating basis. We have electric lights, we have window shades. Both of these were not only invented a long time a go, but have achieved a certain level of perfection! They don't react to time... they react to condition.
Here is a conversation that has never, ever, never-ever happened:
"Jeez, it's bright in here... I'm gonna close the shades."
"But honey, it's only 2:15... the shades don't work until 3:45!"
"Won't somebody please manipulate the clock so my shades will work at the right time?!?"
I for one repeat my twice-yearly sentiment. Either leave it sprung forward or leave it fell back because I am sick to death of the time change! The sun comes up, the sun goes down, the earth like the wheel of fortune spins round and round and there is nothing you can do about it! (Ok, so I cribbed from like 12 poems, 16 songs and a movie for that last bit- but hey, nothing is original anymore).
Please, leave my clocks alone! Even they don't know when to change anymore since Congress, or the Time Bandits or whomever is in charge of these things keep changing it.
If we are going to micro-manage, we need to change the calendar, too because that big-ass Indonesian earthquake that set off the tsunami also actually shifted our orbit, lengthening our solar year by 1/8 of a day. so we really need to change leap year to one and a half extra days every six years. Won't that be a larf.
"Johnny, if you love me, you'll meet me at the top of the Empire State Building on February 29th and-a-half at the second 11:59 am!"
Of course, there was a terrible earthquake last night in Japan, so either that set things right, or made them worse. We'll have to see. Those guys at NASA don't have a lot to do these days with their shuttle program winding down; maybe we can get them on the case.
And what of the calendar itself? There are a lot of whackjobs out there that think the world is going to end in 2012 because the Mayan calendar stops. Ok, time for a little historical perspective here.
The Mayan calendar probably stops abruptly for one of three reasons. Either the guy writing it finally threw down his pencil and said "enough" because his carpel tunnel was killing him, or the Mayan Congress kept wanting to change things, ("Pete, back to the drawing board, they want to add something called 'leap year'), or most likely, a marauding Spaniard sneaked up behind him and sliced his neck open before he could get done.
The point is, that man has not the power to control or even contain time, even though time in the linear sense; time the way we have tried to make time, does not exist.
I say, let's give up. The sun comes up, the sun goes down and we should focus not on controlling every minute in between, but enjoying it and making it worthwhile.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
These Things I Believe
This is a repost from an essay (rant) I wrote in response to a Facebook thread regarding principally the suspension of collective bargaining rights in the state of Wisconsin for municipal and state employees:
_______________________________________________________________
And the inexorable compulsion to fight this argument against my better judgement takes hold:
It is not fair that now in our history we are paying for the sins of those who came before. Those sins are sins of poor legislation and financial malfeasance. They are sins of denial and sins of selfishness.
It is not right that because of laws that were passed by people in power a long time ago, back room deals that took root out of the light of legislative checks and balances, and other poorly judged and entirely misguided attempts at governance that we, the people are now forced to bear this terrible burden.
And yet, here we are. This is not the fault of any one group. This is not, as Fox News would have it the result of failed liberal policies, nor is it is the fault of MSNBC branded conservative overreaching. The fault lies with this electorate and all the electorates that have come before. Finally, it is ultimately we the people who put them in office who are at fault.
This is a representative democracy. It is an imperfect system in that it requires its citizens to have a vested interest in the operation of all levels of government. Because it is we the people who are being represented. Yet, few legislators are recalled for not representing their constituents, because too often their constituents are ignorant to the machinations of government. Few people even know who their representatives are. Many say they don't care. Many act as if they don't care until things get like they are today.
I submit that the people who are so mad about losing collective bargaining rights in Wisconsin and Michigan should have been mad long, long ago when so much of their money was being taken for the operation of a failed government. After all, we don't need to make as much if we keep more of it.
This situation in Wisconsin is not because the state is cold, heartless, unfeeling and evil. There is just no money to pay. There hasn't been money in a long time. And the reason why it is only now coming to a head is principally because government serves itself at a high level of dysfunction. One needs to get re-elected to stay in power. One cannot get re-elected if one supports unpopular policies. Policies based on financial austerity are never popular.
But now, the elected officials are doing what they said they would do. they are being unpopular. They were put in office by the agreed upon system and are now representing what they feel is the voice of the populous which is saying, "enough!"
I believe if the factions were to stop and think, they would realize that no one is trying to be unfair, or unjust. One point of view, (my point of view), is that we must now fix these gross financial missteps at the Federal, State and Local levels in order to move forward again one day as a country. We must now invest in our present so we have a future! We will accomplish nothing by passing more and more debt, more and more responsibility to the next generations. We will only make it worse down the road. If our finances are unsustainable now, how will they look after many more years of the same policies?
I liken our financial crisis to global warming. The time for talk is over. The time for action is nigh. It is indeed an inconvenient truth that we all must share in the sacrifice that is needed to save the planet; and to save ourselves.
Shared sacrifice is a central tenet of liberty. The Declaration of Independence beseeched our colonial overlords that we should be given the freedoms of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Nowhere are we guaranteed (in fact, no one even asked for) collective bargaining rights, we are not guaranteed unlimited wealth, we are not guaranteed the blessing of an easy life or life long care by a the entity of government!
Regardless of what side of the aisle on which you sit, you must come to the agreement that government has failed us. All of us.
And it is the great "us" who shall now have to fix it. For it is simply fact that you cannot pay what you do not make at the individual level or any other. It is very simple. Government has been out of money for a long time, in spite of the fact that you have been giving a good fair bit of your money to them. It has to stop. We have to stop!
I will make less money. You will make less money. You will pay more for pills from Aspirin to Zoloft. You will pay more for milk, and more for gas and more for all the rest of the things you use because there are more consumers in this world now than ever before and nothing more to consume.
If we want to continue to have the best lifestyle on the face of the planet, (I here take the time to remind the reader that even the poorest American is incomprehensibly better-off than his poor brethren in any other country), we must be ready to jump off the cliff. The special interests need to become our special interests and the lobbyists need to stop shouting down the voice of the people.
There should be but one union. The union of American citizens and our rights therein. If you want to assert yourself, by all means! But please ask yourself; is this good for me, or good for us?
We the people should demand the dissolution of the IRS and its subsidies. In its place, we should fight for a flat tax at a sustainable rate that will provide for the defense of our freedom and liberty, will provide aid to emerging economies in the name of human rights and equality, will create and maintain infrastructure and law enforcement and support a world-beating public education option.
We the people should demand the dissolution of failed social programs that cost too much money and do too little good. In their place, we the people should want to see faith and community based outreach plans that target funding and people where they will be most affective in a way they will be most affective for that community.
Corporations should be put in a position to help fund these programs by being given preferential consideration for government contracts and business tax credits. Individuals should be compelled to devote some of their time to the operation and success of these programs because their lives will only be made better with low crime, homelessness and poverty.
We should demand an end to the catastrophically expensive an ineffective drug war, placing focus and funds instead on education and prevention.
We should absolutely dissolve Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. Instead, pay out each person retiring after 2015 50% of the money they have put in to the system (adjusted for inflation) and adjust the personal and corporate flat tax rate to pay for existing retirees in the system, lowering that rate through participant attrition. Medicare and Medicaid should be administered through private insurance companies using market strictures to guide the programs. It is not my destiny and it should not be my expectation to be cared for by my government- unless I was a soldier. If I was a soldier at any time, all my care for all my life, should be covered 100% with no limit. My family should receive that care, too. The best care. they pay for that care by mortgaging their lives.
If you want to call me cold, call me heartless or call me ignorant, please do. If you want to say that I am insane or idiotic for wanting to be be allowed the chance to grow or to whither on the vine based upon my own merits or failures rather than to be cultivated to a specific specification by an omnipresent force from birth to death, than say it.
We cannot be paid what there is no money to pay. We cannot expect our collective will to change anything unless we ourselves are willing to change. It is no longer about fair or taking it personally. It is only about surviving fixing what is broken.
It will hurt.
Are you ready?
_______________________________________________________________
And the inexorable compulsion to fight this argument against my better judgement takes hold:
It is not fair that now in our history we are paying for the sins of those who came before. Those sins are sins of poor legislation and financial malfeasance. They are sins of denial and sins of selfishness.
It is not right that because of laws that were passed by people in power a long time ago, back room deals that took root out of the light of legislative checks and balances, and other poorly judged and entirely misguided attempts at governance that we, the people are now forced to bear this terrible burden.
And yet, here we are. This is not the fault of any one group. This is not, as Fox News would have it the result of failed liberal policies, nor is it is the fault of MSNBC branded conservative overreaching. The fault lies with this electorate and all the electorates that have come before. Finally, it is ultimately we the people who put them in office who are at fault.
This is a representative democracy. It is an imperfect system in that it requires its citizens to have a vested interest in the operation of all levels of government. Because it is we the people who are being represented. Yet, few legislators are recalled for not representing their constituents, because too often their constituents are ignorant to the machinations of government. Few people even know who their representatives are. Many say they don't care. Many act as if they don't care until things get like they are today.
I submit that the people who are so mad about losing collective bargaining rights in Wisconsin and Michigan should have been mad long, long ago when so much of their money was being taken for the operation of a failed government. After all, we don't need to make as much if we keep more of it.
This situation in Wisconsin is not because the state is cold, heartless, unfeeling and evil. There is just no money to pay. There hasn't been money in a long time. And the reason why it is only now coming to a head is principally because government serves itself at a high level of dysfunction. One needs to get re-elected to stay in power. One cannot get re-elected if one supports unpopular policies. Policies based on financial austerity are never popular.
But now, the elected officials are doing what they said they would do. they are being unpopular. They were put in office by the agreed upon system and are now representing what they feel is the voice of the populous which is saying, "enough!"
I believe if the factions were to stop and think, they would realize that no one is trying to be unfair, or unjust. One point of view, (my point of view), is that we must now fix these gross financial missteps at the Federal, State and Local levels in order to move forward again one day as a country. We must now invest in our present so we have a future! We will accomplish nothing by passing more and more debt, more and more responsibility to the next generations. We will only make it worse down the road. If our finances are unsustainable now, how will they look after many more years of the same policies?
I liken our financial crisis to global warming. The time for talk is over. The time for action is nigh. It is indeed an inconvenient truth that we all must share in the sacrifice that is needed to save the planet; and to save ourselves.
Shared sacrifice is a central tenet of liberty. The Declaration of Independence beseeched our colonial overlords that we should be given the freedoms of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Nowhere are we guaranteed (in fact, no one even asked for) collective bargaining rights, we are not guaranteed unlimited wealth, we are not guaranteed the blessing of an easy life or life long care by a the entity of government!
Regardless of what side of the aisle on which you sit, you must come to the agreement that government has failed us. All of us.
And it is the great "us" who shall now have to fix it. For it is simply fact that you cannot pay what you do not make at the individual level or any other. It is very simple. Government has been out of money for a long time, in spite of the fact that you have been giving a good fair bit of your money to them. It has to stop. We have to stop!
I will make less money. You will make less money. You will pay more for pills from Aspirin to Zoloft. You will pay more for milk, and more for gas and more for all the rest of the things you use because there are more consumers in this world now than ever before and nothing more to consume.
If we want to continue to have the best lifestyle on the face of the planet, (I here take the time to remind the reader that even the poorest American is incomprehensibly better-off than his poor brethren in any other country), we must be ready to jump off the cliff. The special interests need to become our special interests and the lobbyists need to stop shouting down the voice of the people.
There should be but one union. The union of American citizens and our rights therein. If you want to assert yourself, by all means! But please ask yourself; is this good for me, or good for us?
We the people should demand the dissolution of the IRS and its subsidies. In its place, we should fight for a flat tax at a sustainable rate that will provide for the defense of our freedom and liberty, will provide aid to emerging economies in the name of human rights and equality, will create and maintain infrastructure and law enforcement and support a world-beating public education option.
We the people should demand the dissolution of failed social programs that cost too much money and do too little good. In their place, we the people should want to see faith and community based outreach plans that target funding and people where they will be most affective in a way they will be most affective for that community.
Corporations should be put in a position to help fund these programs by being given preferential consideration for government contracts and business tax credits. Individuals should be compelled to devote some of their time to the operation and success of these programs because their lives will only be made better with low crime, homelessness and poverty.
We should demand an end to the catastrophically expensive an ineffective drug war, placing focus and funds instead on education and prevention.
We should absolutely dissolve Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid. Instead, pay out each person retiring after 2015 50% of the money they have put in to the system (adjusted for inflation) and adjust the personal and corporate flat tax rate to pay for existing retirees in the system, lowering that rate through participant attrition. Medicare and Medicaid should be administered through private insurance companies using market strictures to guide the programs. It is not my destiny and it should not be my expectation to be cared for by my government- unless I was a soldier. If I was a soldier at any time, all my care for all my life, should be covered 100% with no limit. My family should receive that care, too. The best care. they pay for that care by mortgaging their lives.
If you want to call me cold, call me heartless or call me ignorant, please do. If you want to say that I am insane or idiotic for wanting to be be allowed the chance to grow or to whither on the vine based upon my own merits or failures rather than to be cultivated to a specific specification by an omnipresent force from birth to death, than say it.
We cannot be paid what there is no money to pay. We cannot expect our collective will to change anything unless we ourselves are willing to change. It is no longer about fair or taking it personally. It is only about surviving fixing what is broken.
It will hurt.
Are you ready?
Really Boring Blentry
Wait... What Day Is Today?
Hello Monday! And goodbye. What is it, Thursday already? Wow, I have been really falling off the consistency of my blogging. Sorry, it isn't for wont of writing, I just haven't had the time to devote. New job blah blah blah.
I am feeling very good these days. Not like everything is perfect, mind you, but that everything is going in the right direction. Of course, there is not a lot of "everything" going on as yet. I am still in the planning phases and organizing my world as such.
Today I am accidentally going on my first sales call, though. This is why I say things seem to be sort of progressing from an unknown source of kismet. Getting sit-down appointments is hard in sales. I have a few back doors I can use, but mostly it will be a lot of failing before a small amount of success. It is my least favorite fact. But it is a fact. I don't intend to bore, but I have a few pretty good leads already that will hopefully lead to some immediate success.
Enough about that. Wish me luck, though.
Page Two
I was so happy to come home to two car mags. I love my car mags. Sure you can get content galore online, and with readers and tablets you can even get that content in a suitably portable and convenient fashion. But what you miss is the sensation of the glossy pages, the depth of the color of the photography, the layout, the smell... the subscription cards falling out every other page!
I subscribe to four, which may be excessive. I will cull the herd eventually as one will inevitably stop capturing my interest for one reason or another. The two I got this week in the mail used to be the upstarts - the second tier if you will. I speak of Motor Trend and Automobile.
Motor Trend was so cheesy and so poorly laid out it looked like a high school newspaper in a district with far too much money. All it was was a lot of "stuff" everywhere, it was an assault on the eyes. When I began reading it, the Editor in Chief had a very juvenile bent and I as a juvenile was looking for something a bit more sophisticated. There was very little to be learned here and from an engineering or social perspective it was simply not worth the paper it was printed on.
Enter Automobile which began auspiciously headed by the much vaunted David E. Davis, who after being kicked to the curb from Car and Driver for being willful (irrelevant) and difficult (irrelevant), started up his own magazine. I dislike him intensely. In my opinion he is the very definition of a name-dropping self-aggrandizing bloviator who loves to flaunt his wealth and status to the common man. Just because you were with or met famous people does not a good story make. Automobile Magazine was every bit a journal extolling those virtues. It was dry, lacking any editorial expression and simply boring.
My how times have changed. Road and Track was always the thinking man's magazine. A magazine for engineers and people who got the inside line on things. Not mere enthusiasts. It was the magazine for people who genuinely were interested in the science and physics of all things internal combustion. Car and Driver was the Playboy of the car magazine world, witty, irreverent, well put out and exceedingly entertaining.
Motor Trend has grown up and produces a grand product that is wall-to-wall cars, great pictures, and only a minimum of commentary. It is the most dense and right now my favorite. Road and Track and Automobile should merge and I would like the finished product, but alone they are each a bit staid, a bit boring and a bit short on content. I will never leave Road and Track only because of Peter Egan, about whom I previously wrote a couple months back. His features are nothing short of breathtaking and his monthly piece is always fulfilling. If Egan moved to Motor Trend, I'd drop R&T like a bad habit.
Car and Driver has degenerated. Its editorial content is no longer as strong. Its writing is downright hackneyed compared to just five and ten years ago. They have lost their voice and the greatest indication of this is inviting David E. Davis (the same) back on to staff. Now he's in his 80's, and dying of cancer. His bloviations are not mere recalls of dashing adventures told in a droll fashion, they are just rants of an old dying man. There is a reason why Eskimos put themselves adrift on ice floes, and why no one in history has enjoyed the Tolstoy work, "The Death of Ivan Illitch". After a point, nobody cares.
Which brings me back to this blog! Nobody cares! About this topic anyway. So I have just put 38 minutes into something that is simply a grandiose rumination rooted in minutiae (what was that about self-aggrandizing?) . Perhaps I should have told you about the time I came across Eric Braden (Victor from The Young and the Restless) on Mackinac Island...
Hello Monday! And goodbye. What is it, Thursday already? Wow, I have been really falling off the consistency of my blogging. Sorry, it isn't for wont of writing, I just haven't had the time to devote. New job blah blah blah.
I am feeling very good these days. Not like everything is perfect, mind you, but that everything is going in the right direction. Of course, there is not a lot of "everything" going on as yet. I am still in the planning phases and organizing my world as such.
Today I am accidentally going on my first sales call, though. This is why I say things seem to be sort of progressing from an unknown source of kismet. Getting sit-down appointments is hard in sales. I have a few back doors I can use, but mostly it will be a lot of failing before a small amount of success. It is my least favorite fact. But it is a fact. I don't intend to bore, but I have a few pretty good leads already that will hopefully lead to some immediate success.
Enough about that. Wish me luck, though.
Page Two
I was so happy to come home to two car mags. I love my car mags. Sure you can get content galore online, and with readers and tablets you can even get that content in a suitably portable and convenient fashion. But what you miss is the sensation of the glossy pages, the depth of the color of the photography, the layout, the smell... the subscription cards falling out every other page!
I subscribe to four, which may be excessive. I will cull the herd eventually as one will inevitably stop capturing my interest for one reason or another. The two I got this week in the mail used to be the upstarts - the second tier if you will. I speak of Motor Trend and Automobile.
Motor Trend was so cheesy and so poorly laid out it looked like a high school newspaper in a district with far too much money. All it was was a lot of "stuff" everywhere, it was an assault on the eyes. When I began reading it, the Editor in Chief had a very juvenile bent and I as a juvenile was looking for something a bit more sophisticated. There was very little to be learned here and from an engineering or social perspective it was simply not worth the paper it was printed on.
Enter Automobile which began auspiciously headed by the much vaunted David E. Davis, who after being kicked to the curb from Car and Driver for being willful (irrelevant) and difficult (irrelevant), started up his own magazine. I dislike him intensely. In my opinion he is the very definition of a name-dropping self-aggrandizing bloviator who loves to flaunt his wealth and status to the common man. Just because you were with or met famous people does not a good story make. Automobile Magazine was every bit a journal extolling those virtues. It was dry, lacking any editorial expression and simply boring.
My how times have changed. Road and Track was always the thinking man's magazine. A magazine for engineers and people who got the inside line on things. Not mere enthusiasts. It was the magazine for people who genuinely were interested in the science and physics of all things internal combustion. Car and Driver was the Playboy of the car magazine world, witty, irreverent, well put out and exceedingly entertaining.
Motor Trend has grown up and produces a grand product that is wall-to-wall cars, great pictures, and only a minimum of commentary. It is the most dense and right now my favorite. Road and Track and Automobile should merge and I would like the finished product, but alone they are each a bit staid, a bit boring and a bit short on content. I will never leave Road and Track only because of Peter Egan, about whom I previously wrote a couple months back. His features are nothing short of breathtaking and his monthly piece is always fulfilling. If Egan moved to Motor Trend, I'd drop R&T like a bad habit.
Car and Driver has degenerated. Its editorial content is no longer as strong. Its writing is downright hackneyed compared to just five and ten years ago. They have lost their voice and the greatest indication of this is inviting David E. Davis (the same) back on to staff. Now he's in his 80's, and dying of cancer. His bloviations are not mere recalls of dashing adventures told in a droll fashion, they are just rants of an old dying man. There is a reason why Eskimos put themselves adrift on ice floes, and why no one in history has enjoyed the Tolstoy work, "The Death of Ivan Illitch". After a point, nobody cares.
Which brings me back to this blog! Nobody cares! About this topic anyway. So I have just put 38 minutes into something that is simply a grandiose rumination rooted in minutiae (what was that about self-aggrandizing?) . Perhaps I should have told you about the time I came across Eric Braden (Victor from The Young and the Restless) on Mackinac Island...
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sunday Sunday
Old Gray Mare
I always wanted to be a silver fox, but instead I am turning into an old gray wolf. I am going bowling tonight with the high school youth. Fun! Yes, but unfortunately, I can't simply go bowling. I have to dig out braces for my wrist and elbow, make sure I put medical tape in my ball bag to tape up the knuckle on my middle finger (because if I don't It will swell up to the size of a peach and I won't be able to bend it for weeks), and stretch for an hour so I don't hurt myself. I can't even swing my 16 pound ball... not because I am weak, but because I pay for it in swollen joints and severe pain for too long afterward. At least I have comfortable bowling shoes.
Things I Do When Em Is Gone
Emily is in Nashville, so for this weekend I have been just me. When Em is gone, I indulge by watching movies that she would not like. So far, this weekend these have included Casino, Jaws and Hard Candy. She likes The Sting, but I watched that, too. My DVD player is down, so I am at the mercy of On Demand.
I also listen to music too loud on the stereo. This never flies when she's here because hearing loss is one of the causes she fights to prevent. The cats hate it. They don't understand the noise and where it's coming from. They really don't understand why daddy is screaming in multiple pitches with a certain amount of vehemence along to the noise.
Then I eat too much. Bad things, man. Bad things. Italian sausages covered with cheese sleeved in hoagy rolls, bacon with eggs cooked in the grease, etc. etc.
In the grand scheme, these are pretty minor indulgences, but they get me by. Sometimes we need to explore the dark side - even if our dark sides are more like dusk sides, or maybe simply cloudy days.
Week Two Is Coming Up
Week one went really well. I like the people I met and who I will be working with. Next week is my week back at the old company for "training". This makes me a little anxious because of all the politics involved. I can't expect any different. My leaving there initially is sort of like saying I want to leave the family by way of taking out a full page article in the Sunday paper. It did not go over well and I expect there will be fallout.
Actually there already has been, but I have managed to side step it. I will keep trying to do so. Mostly it will take a little strength on my part to keep my mouth shut and keep my head down.
I look forward to being able to alight here on the west side and sort of get out of the hornets' nest of the east side.
I always wanted to be a silver fox, but instead I am turning into an old gray wolf. I am going bowling tonight with the high school youth. Fun! Yes, but unfortunately, I can't simply go bowling. I have to dig out braces for my wrist and elbow, make sure I put medical tape in my ball bag to tape up the knuckle on my middle finger (because if I don't It will swell up to the size of a peach and I won't be able to bend it for weeks), and stretch for an hour so I don't hurt myself. I can't even swing my 16 pound ball... not because I am weak, but because I pay for it in swollen joints and severe pain for too long afterward. At least I have comfortable bowling shoes.
Things I Do When Em Is Gone
Emily is in Nashville, so for this weekend I have been just me. When Em is gone, I indulge by watching movies that she would not like. So far, this weekend these have included Casino, Jaws and Hard Candy. She likes The Sting, but I watched that, too. My DVD player is down, so I am at the mercy of On Demand.
I also listen to music too loud on the stereo. This never flies when she's here because hearing loss is one of the causes she fights to prevent. The cats hate it. They don't understand the noise and where it's coming from. They really don't understand why daddy is screaming in multiple pitches with a certain amount of vehemence along to the noise.
Then I eat too much. Bad things, man. Bad things. Italian sausages covered with cheese sleeved in hoagy rolls, bacon with eggs cooked in the grease, etc. etc.
In the grand scheme, these are pretty minor indulgences, but they get me by. Sometimes we need to explore the dark side - even if our dark sides are more like dusk sides, or maybe simply cloudy days.
Week Two Is Coming Up
Week one went really well. I like the people I met and who I will be working with. Next week is my week back at the old company for "training". This makes me a little anxious because of all the politics involved. I can't expect any different. My leaving there initially is sort of like saying I want to leave the family by way of taking out a full page article in the Sunday paper. It did not go over well and I expect there will be fallout.
Actually there already has been, but I have managed to side step it. I will keep trying to do so. Mostly it will take a little strength on my part to keep my mouth shut and keep my head down.
I look forward to being able to alight here on the west side and sort of get out of the hornets' nest of the east side.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Awwwwwwww, Nuts!
It is said that men cannot know the trauma and pain of childbirth. I agree that ipso facto that is indeed true being that we simply aren't built for that particular function. But it occurred to me due to certain events last night that women cannot possibly understand the trauma and pain of a good nut shot.
What brought this to the fore, Bill, you ask? I am glad you did because it happens to the subject of this blentry. You are so smart, dear reader! Right before bed, Em was trying to move her suitcase and kick an area rug by our bed into place at the same time while wearing backless slippers that were not cooperating. She was having a real time of it. I was carrying a dish full of fresh water for the kitty and Em wasn't doing an especially good job of telling me how I could help by way of using any language that I, (or any other human male I suspect), understood; I was essentially powerless to help.
While I was standing there dumbly watching her struggle, she was shaking the offending slipper off her right foot. It was a thousand to one shot at the buzzer from the half-court and she nailed it. And by nailed it, I mean nailed it. I got a glancing blow right in 'lefty' by the reinforced tip of a barely subsonic slipper. There's a real cheap joke there that for the sake of my younger readers, my smarter more savvy readers and my mother, (who belongs in the aforementioned groups, but alas is principally my mother), I will allow it to remain unwritten. If you would like me to send it to you privately, let me know. I'm sure you can figure it out. I was forced to be stoic as I was carrying the bowl of water and launching that across the room would only have made things worse.
But the pain needed to go somewhere. Since dancing the nut shot jig was out of the question, and I have never been one to not make things worse; I curtly exclaimed a few choice words in a staccato tone that indicated what Emily could do with her carpet and her slipper. She was apologizing even as I was cursing the pain, the slipper and the dumb luck of it all.
It was tense for a few moments and I wish I could take back the words I said. But this morning I got to thinking that it would be to the peril of a father in the delivery room to take heed to anything the birthing mother was saying. It must be excused due to the traumatic pain. Last night, I generally lacked the ability to think my way through this enough to try to explain it to Em and so we went to bed in a bit of a huff.
She apologized again this morning on her way to Nashville for the week and it was amazing how the pain came right back as soon as she did. It really is a terrible, traumatic sort of pain. And while a woman may give birth prodigiously in her life, (the more she does the higher the likelihood that she will have a T.V. show), I bet most men get waaaaay more nut shots in the course of a life than most women will have children. I mean, I certainly wasn't looking for a nut shot last night, but it found me. I don't know too many women who have found themselves suddenly in labor without knowledge aforethought, (although if she does, she has a high likelihood of being on a T.V. show being poorly and melodramatically reenacted by an only slightly more attractive person than herself with some sort of poorly written melodramatic voice over).
A nut shot can be, and often is, delivered to innocent bystanders. It is indeed among the plagues of humanity... or male humanity anyhow. I hope to be forgiven for my mouth and my knee-jerk reaction last night, Em. It was as beyond my ability to control as it was yours to turn back time and wish the whole thing away.
What brought this to the fore, Bill, you ask? I am glad you did because it happens to the subject of this blentry. You are so smart, dear reader! Right before bed, Em was trying to move her suitcase and kick an area rug by our bed into place at the same time while wearing backless slippers that were not cooperating. She was having a real time of it. I was carrying a dish full of fresh water for the kitty and Em wasn't doing an especially good job of telling me how I could help by way of using any language that I, (or any other human male I suspect), understood; I was essentially powerless to help.
While I was standing there dumbly watching her struggle, she was shaking the offending slipper off her right foot. It was a thousand to one shot at the buzzer from the half-court and she nailed it. And by nailed it, I mean nailed it. I got a glancing blow right in 'lefty' by the reinforced tip of a barely subsonic slipper. There's a real cheap joke there that for the sake of my younger readers, my smarter more savvy readers and my mother, (who belongs in the aforementioned groups, but alas is principally my mother), I will allow it to remain unwritten. If you would like me to send it to you privately, let me know. I'm sure you can figure it out. I was forced to be stoic as I was carrying the bowl of water and launching that across the room would only have made things worse.
But the pain needed to go somewhere. Since dancing the nut shot jig was out of the question, and I have never been one to not make things worse; I curtly exclaimed a few choice words in a staccato tone that indicated what Emily could do with her carpet and her slipper. She was apologizing even as I was cursing the pain, the slipper and the dumb luck of it all.
It was tense for a few moments and I wish I could take back the words I said. But this morning I got to thinking that it would be to the peril of a father in the delivery room to take heed to anything the birthing mother was saying. It must be excused due to the traumatic pain. Last night, I generally lacked the ability to think my way through this enough to try to explain it to Em and so we went to bed in a bit of a huff.
She apologized again this morning on her way to Nashville for the week and it was amazing how the pain came right back as soon as she did. It really is a terrible, traumatic sort of pain. And while a woman may give birth prodigiously in her life, (the more she does the higher the likelihood that she will have a T.V. show), I bet most men get waaaaay more nut shots in the course of a life than most women will have children. I mean, I certainly wasn't looking for a nut shot last night, but it found me. I don't know too many women who have found themselves suddenly in labor without knowledge aforethought, (although if she does, she has a high likelihood of being on a T.V. show being poorly and melodramatically reenacted by an only slightly more attractive person than herself with some sort of poorly written melodramatic voice over).
A nut shot can be, and often is, delivered to innocent bystanders. It is indeed among the plagues of humanity... or male humanity anyhow. I hope to be forgiven for my mouth and my knee-jerk reaction last night, Em. It was as beyond my ability to control as it was yours to turn back time and wish the whole thing away.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Talk This Way!
Overhearyouwillseethewaterdepartmentwhohandlesalotofthingsincluding...
Having a discussion with friends Greg and Dave about T.V. shows, it came up that Dave really doesn't like Aaron Sorkin. He doesn't find his dialogue witty, or the pattern and cadence of his characters' speech to be true to life.
Fair enough. That rapid fire give and take (banter) which is often incisive can come across as a little disingenuous. I mean, who doesn't pause for a breath, or have to restate something in another way to clarify once in awhile? Is it really plausible that people could really have that much give and take?
Well, starting this new job, in a busy office during a busy time I can say one thing unequivocally - people DO talk like that.
I am the FNG (GoshDarn New Guy) and as such I am an utter hindrance. My mere presence represents an unneeded and unplanned variable in the day of people who constantly deal with variables. They have all been very nice and patient and for that I am appreciative. But man, do they talk fast. I think I had a twenty-minute conversation with one department head in a minute-and-a-half! To his credit, he was concise and realized I was picking up what he was laying down so there wasn't a lot of need for expository language.
But it was a very Aaron Sorkin exchange and it is one of many I have had this week. So, with all due respect to Dave... People absolutely talk this way.
We Need To TCB For This VIP and Get Him to HQ Before He Is AWOL
Those acronyms are all pretty well known. Acronyms are needed and when used well are a huge time saver. It falls under paucity of verbiage... say it in the most efficient way possible and it is usually a good rule of thumb for business language especially.
Recently, I have been a little obsessed with learning about Diesel engines. Who knows why? I'm a boy. Is there a reason better or more illustrative than that? Anyhow, I had spent a fair amount of free time before starting this job on learning about these things on various internet forums.
They are rife with acronyms that are all "shop talk", or specific to the narrow genre. And they are not helpful if you don't know what they are referring to. For instance in one comical post, one contributor uses no fewer than thirteen (thirteen!) acronyms that I had no idea what they meant. They included FICM, HPOP, DPF, SCT and others. Some I could decipher by context, others are still a mystery to me, even after a fair bit of detective work.
There is of course no glossary on the site to illuminate the possible meanings of these. I wonder if the people who are using these acronyms are even doing so because they are accepted and well-known tools on this sight, or if they are just too lazy to type Fuel Injection Management Computer (FICM), or High Pressure Fuel Pump (oddly shortened to HPOP).
Beware when you are trying to send a message that needs to get across... sometimes you can say too little.
Being The FNG
I am pleased that things are going as well so far as I could have expected. It is a good atmosphere here. I hope it stays that way as there are some items that are giving me pause which originate from the old regime. I will hold my tongue for now and hope that those storm clouds don't materialize into anything. But, please keep my in your positive thoughts during this transition. So far, all your efforts have helped. Thanks!
Having a discussion with friends Greg and Dave about T.V. shows, it came up that Dave really doesn't like Aaron Sorkin. He doesn't find his dialogue witty, or the pattern and cadence of his characters' speech to be true to life.
Fair enough. That rapid fire give and take (banter) which is often incisive can come across as a little disingenuous. I mean, who doesn't pause for a breath, or have to restate something in another way to clarify once in awhile? Is it really plausible that people could really have that much give and take?
Well, starting this new job, in a busy office during a busy time I can say one thing unequivocally - people DO talk like that.
I am the FNG (GoshDarn New Guy) and as such I am an utter hindrance. My mere presence represents an unneeded and unplanned variable in the day of people who constantly deal with variables. They have all been very nice and patient and for that I am appreciative. But man, do they talk fast. I think I had a twenty-minute conversation with one department head in a minute-and-a-half! To his credit, he was concise and realized I was picking up what he was laying down so there wasn't a lot of need for expository language.
But it was a very Aaron Sorkin exchange and it is one of many I have had this week. So, with all due respect to Dave... People absolutely talk this way.
We Need To TCB For This VIP and Get Him to HQ Before He Is AWOL
Those acronyms are all pretty well known. Acronyms are needed and when used well are a huge time saver. It falls under paucity of verbiage... say it in the most efficient way possible and it is usually a good rule of thumb for business language especially.
Recently, I have been a little obsessed with learning about Diesel engines. Who knows why? I'm a boy. Is there a reason better or more illustrative than that? Anyhow, I had spent a fair amount of free time before starting this job on learning about these things on various internet forums.
They are rife with acronyms that are all "shop talk", or specific to the narrow genre. And they are not helpful if you don't know what they are referring to. For instance in one comical post, one contributor uses no fewer than thirteen (thirteen!) acronyms that I had no idea what they meant. They included FICM, HPOP, DPF, SCT and others. Some I could decipher by context, others are still a mystery to me, even after a fair bit of detective work.
There is of course no glossary on the site to illuminate the possible meanings of these. I wonder if the people who are using these acronyms are even doing so because they are accepted and well-known tools on this sight, or if they are just too lazy to type Fuel Injection Management Computer (FICM), or High Pressure Fuel Pump (oddly shortened to HPOP).
Beware when you are trying to send a message that needs to get across... sometimes you can say too little.
Being The FNG
I am pleased that things are going as well so far as I could have expected. It is a good atmosphere here. I hope it stays that way as there are some items that are giving me pause which originate from the old regime. I will hold my tongue for now and hope that those storm clouds don't materialize into anything. But, please keep my in your positive thoughts during this transition. So far, all your efforts have helped. Thanks!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
First Morning
So far, the first day is going well. I have a minute to put down some thoughts before I am shunted off to the next thing.
1. People seem very nice.
2. Nice Office space.
3. They are really busy.
4. I will have more support than I thought I would from the corporate side of things.
5. There are lots of ways to make money.
6. Setting up Blackberries sucks (But I knew that- I am just reminded of it today).
7. Can't get on Facebook from the office network, which is bullocks, but I knows there is a
good reason. And I'll hardly ever be here after this week.
8. I have to put one of those stupid magnet things on my car with the company logo. Boo.
9. I am hungry.
10. I need a piece of gum.
That about sums it up so far for the first half of the day. Not bad at all considering! Stay tuned for more after a break.
1. People seem very nice.
2. Nice Office space.
3. They are really busy.
4. I will have more support than I thought I would from the corporate side of things.
5. There are lots of ways to make money.
6. Setting up Blackberries sucks (But I knew that- I am just reminded of it today).
7. Can't get on Facebook from the office network, which is bullocks, but I knows there is a
good reason. And I'll hardly ever be here after this week.
8. I have to put one of those stupid magnet things on my car with the company logo. Boo.
9. I am hungry.
10. I need a piece of gum.
That about sums it up so far for the first half of the day. Not bad at all considering! Stay tuned for more after a break.
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